What I Learned from the Yellow Dress
We were at Costco. It was about a week before Easter and Addie spied it from across the warehouse.
It was a frilly yellow dress with flowers and ribbons, from the way it was cut it looked like it would twirl and twirl well.
She simultaneously gasped, sighed and looked up at me with her giant blue eyes and said “OH! MOM!”
I’ve known for awhile that her nicer dresses have become quite snug on her, some even beginning to rip at the seams around her ever expanding ribcage. I knew she needed a new dress but I just didn’t want to face the arguments, the price tags and the mall with her, so when the yellow dress showed up in Costco for less than $15 and appeared to fulfill her every dream, wish and desire? It was an easy yes.
Before we even left the store she asked if she could go into the bathroom to put it on. When we got in the car she asked if she could put it on “I promise I’ll duck down so no one can see me change!” I told her she had to wait until we got home.
She ran her fingers over the layers of frilly fabric for the whole drive and as soon as the car was in park she was out the door and changed before I could even bring the groceries in.
“MOM! LOOK AT IT TWIRL! OH MOM! IT’S PERFECT!”
She was so happy.
Then somewhere deep inside of me this mean lady began to bubble up inside of me. “Don’t you play in that!” “Don’t you dare get it dirty!” “Don’t roll in the grass!”
I hate that mean lady.
The next morning when she woke up the first thing she did was put on the dress. She wore the dress all day and to the museum that night. The next morning when she tried to put the dress on again I stopped her, it had a few dribbles on it and sort of smelled like it had been used to dry a car. I told her she couldn’t wear it again until it had been washed.
This growing up thing is just as hard is it is for her as it is for me. Part of me wants to tell her to keep her clothes nice when all she wants to do is run and play in a fancy dress. She’s still a little kid. I feel like I keep missing these moments of her childhood in some sort of effort to see her as an older kid when she’s still very much enamored with frilly dresses, princesses and unicorns.
Oh Addie, I’m sorry the mean lady inside me ever told you not to play in your dress. She just doesn’t understand.
I think it’s hard to accept that they just want to play, regardless of whether it’s a $15 or $50 dress. It’s so PRETTY, don’t RUIN it is what comes out of our mouths. And then we remember they are 7 or 9 and running is what they NEED.
I have the same conversations with K on a regular basis, unless I stop myself. Because. Seriously. Don’t ruin your Hannas the first time your wear them kid.
What do you mean there are washing machines and stain removers to take care of that?
*hugs*
I call that mean lady “Monster Mommy.” She irks me to no end!! Great post.
It’s hard to remember they are just kids. I have such high expectations for them, sometimes I forget that they are KIDS. And they won’t always obey because they are KIDS. And they want to wear those damn cowgirl boots EVERY.WHERE even to go HIKING and their clothes don’t match their choice of cowgirl boots and they want to wear sweats to church.
And then I remember it just doesn’t even matter. Really, in the grand scheme of things, who really cares if she wears sweatpants with cowgirl boots to church?
Ugh, it’s hard being a parent. And it’s hard being a kid with a parent.
we mommies are so so so mean
This happened not 10 minutes ago:
3yo: Mommy. Mommy. MommyMommyMommmeeeee.
Me, irritated: What?!
3yo: I nee yooo!
Me: Cant Daddy help you?!?
3yo: no.
Me: ugh. What do you need that only I can do?
3yo: I nee your hug.
Oof.
Sometimes we get it wrong.
But somehow it doesn’t seem quite as bad when we learn from it.
Monster Mommy visits my house a lot, too.
She wants quiet in the house, and never has time to bring out the messy toys like play-doh. Honestly, I wish she’d find some other house to go to, but she keeps showing up at mine.
This is why I keep a drawer full of the dresses she’s already ruined. We call it the play clothes drawer, and she can run, twirl and bounce to her heart’s content while her “nice clothes” are saved for school and church.
Oh I find myself doing the same thing.
My solution to that problem (which is fortunately limited by having a boy, but I learned it from my Mom who raised 2 daughters): if it’s perfect and the price is reasonable, buy 2. And possibly also the next size up. When one gets trashed and relegated to play wear there’s a nice clean unstained one hanging up for church. Unfortunately I forgot to do this with my son’s very favorite tie that he never wants to take off after church (clip on bow tie with ROBOTS, can you blame him?).
At that price, buy her two…or three.