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10 Things You Should Never Say to a Working Mother

Before my husband and I got married we had the discussion about children. How soon we would like to add them, how many we want and how we would raise them. It was our decision, both of us, that we would like to make it a priority for me to be home with the children until they are in full time school. That made sense for us and we did what we needed to do to make sure that happened for us.

There are many families who have a similar discussion but it doesn’t have the same result. There are many who have the father stay home, or one or the other working part time or there are many who wish to both work. Either for balance and happiness or for financial reason. There should be room to re-evaluate later as well (as we did when I transitioned into a work-at-home parent).

Mommy-wars pin us all against each other. I still don’t understand — and realize I never will — why we have to belittle or question what another family chooses for their dynamics. What bothers me most I think is no one EVER questions what the Father does — whether he works or not. Moms are people too and if they are happier working, that’s important.

Click through for my advice on 10 things you should never say to a working mother:

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  • “Why did you have kids if you’re not raising them.” 1 of 10
    "Why did you have kids if you're not raising them."
    Why?: A myth that drive WOHP's crazy -- they are still raising their kids.
    Photo Credit: photostock
  • “Must suck to have to leave your kid every day.” 2 of 10
    "Must suck to have to leave your kid every day."
    Why?: It could or it couldn't - some women work because it keeps them happy, which is important too.
    Photo Credit: photostock
  • “I thought your husband made enough for you to say home.” 3 of 10
    "I thought your husband made enough for you to say home."
    Why?: Not all women just want their husband to have a career.
    Photo Credit: photostock
  • “You must feel really guilty.” 4 of 10
    "You must feel really guilty."
    Why?: If a mom is feeling guilty -- this will make it worse. If she's not, you're implying she should.
    Photo Credit: photostock
  • “I could never trust anyone else with my kids.” 5 of 10
    "I could never trust anyone else with my kids."
    Why?: WOHP's don't just leave their kids with anyone. They do their research and leave them with someone they trust.
    Photo Credit: photostock
  • “We made the financial sacrafices so i could stay home.” 6 of 10
    "We made the financial sacrafices so i could stay home."
    Why?: That's your life, your sacrifices, your priories. Also, some have no play room when it comes to money.
    Photo Credit: photostock
  • “Do your kids ever see you?” 7 of 10
    "Do your kids ever see you?"
    Why?: Many have a struggle for balance with work and kids - we all do. Often times moms will work it so they are home for as much as they can.
    Photo Credit: photostock
  • “You are so lucky that you work!” 8 of 10
    "You are so lucky that you work!"
    Why?: No one likes to have it implied that they have life easier.
    Photo Credit: photostock
  • “So, who is watching your kid?” 9 of 10
    "So, who is watching your kid?"
    Why?: Not, your business. Asking makes it sound like you think they just left their kid at some random person's house.
    Photo Credit: photostock
  • “You’re choosing career over your kids?” 10 of 10
    "You're choosing career over your kids?"
    Why?: Mothers need to be happy too. If they find that there is a better balance in happy when she is working, there's nothing wrong with that. Also, some HAVE to work to provide for their families.
    Photo Credit: photostock

:: Tell me — what is something people have said to you? Which is the worst? ::

Related:
What NOT to say to a WAHM
What NOT to say to a SAHM

Read more from Devan on Accustomed ChaosUnspoken Grief
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