What Were They Thinking?! 10 Weird & Just Plain Inappropriate Kid Toys & Things

Say your prayers... OR ELSE.

Say your prayers… OR ELSE.

“When I was little, I played with a pile of rocks in the yard…AND I LIKED IT.”

You’ve heard your granny or grandpa utter this gem a time or two, haven’t you? It usually comes on the heels of the explanation of their very arduous route to school each day. You know, barefoot, in the snow, uphill both ways.

Maybe, like me, you were lucky enough to hear it from the elderly gentleman (purchasing a jumbo jar of pickled onions and what appeared to be a package of cockroaches but turned out to be dates) in line behind you at Walmart who issued the missive after watching you hand your smartphone to your tantrumming kid.

Either way, rocks or smartphones are preferable to the toys you’re about to see. I think even Grandpa Walmart would agree.

What were they thinking? 

And these are just the ones I can show you. A great majority of the children’s toys I brought to the attention of my esteemed Babble editors were deemed inappropriate for this website.

nggallery id=130181

  • My Cleaning Trolley 1 of 10
    My Cleaning Trolley
    For your little dreamer. Note: for girls only! Because, of course, cleaning is women's work!
    photo credit: themorningnews.org
  • Tattoo Gear 2 of 10
    Tattoo Gear
    For the aspiring tattoo artist in your happy home! Let your kids sleeve each other to their heart's delight! But only if they kick things off with a "Mom" tat!
    photo credit: heavy.com
  • God Almighty 3 of 10
    God Almighty
    His is the kingdom, the power and the glory. And don't you forget it or he will smite your ass with his assault rifle. This awesome God Almighty action figure is brought to you by the Jesus Christ Superstore.
    photo credit: retrorambling.wordpress.com
  • Abercrombie Push-Up Swimsuit 4 of 10
    Abercrombie Push-Up Swimsuit
    You may remember Abercrombie & Fitch introducing the "push-up triangle," marketing the swim top to girls as young as 7 or 8. As ABC reports, they ultimately renamed the top "the striped triangle" but seriously? What 7-year-old needs a padded top? Gross.
    photo credit: jezebel.com
  • Playmobil 5 of 10
    Playmobil
    Because biohazards are fun!
    photo credit: heavy.com
  • Pregnant Barbie 6 of 10
    Pregnant Barbie
    I'm all for reality and teaching kids about pregnancy but this is a scene straigiht outta Alien, no?
    photo credit: thehairpin.com
  • Playmobil: safecrackers! 7 of 10
    Playmobil: safecrackers!
    For the future little criminal in your life! Ages 4 +!
    photo credit:
  • Struts 8 of 10
    Struts
    This ho..rse is hot-to-trot! She is marketed as "flirty fun" and features a host of accessories including, fake lashes, high heels and a bizarre stripper-esque outfit. As one person apparently in the know put it, "When Santa was interviewed about Struts the horse he said she is a HO HO HO, for sure!"
    photo credit: essentialkids.com
  • Pee and Poop Plushies 9 of 10
    Pee and Poop Plushies
    Don't mock! The pee and poo plushies have transformed into an online empire of sorts. Want pee and poo clothes for your little ones? It's all there for the perusing.
    photo credit:
  • Hitler Doll 10 of 10
    Hitler Doll

You can also find Monica on her personal blog, The Girl Who.

Read more from Monica on Babble:

Tagged as:

Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, profile photo and other personal information you make public on Facebook (e.g., school, work, current city, age) will appear with your comment. Learn More.