When Kindergarten Isn't KindLori Garcia
If a kid says something mean to my child, I’m like “Meh, that’s life.” Sure, my kid will cry and I’ll comfort them, but life will go on (eventually). I have to assume that if anyone was to ever really put my kid in danger I’d do something bad-ass about it. Until then, I quite prefer to I live my little non-confrontational life and hope I’m never called upon to drop F-bombs on some bratty kid a la Debbie from This is 40 (skip to 0:33).
WARNING: Excessive and hilarious F-bombs await.
Today my son came home from school just plain sad. The scene is not all that uncommon; my boy is sensitive. Look at him cross-eyed and he’s sure he’s done something to upset you. Exclude him from something, anything, and he’s devastated. This kind of super tender spirit has the whole family walking on eggshells much of the time, not because we’re fearful of his fragile psyche, but because it’s just easier to watch ourselves. I know how ridiculous that sounds. Life is hard, kids are cruel, bad things happen, but dammit if we haven’t reached this unspoken agreement that we just don’t want the drama. The tears. The hassle.
I realized today however, that we aren’t doing BooBoo any favors by sheltering him from all that is uncomfortable. He will get excluded. Kids will be mean to him. Things won’t always be fair as demonstrated by today’s kindergarten crime. Cue violin music.
BooBoo was playing in the yard and he and his best buddies were looking for the longest woodchips they could find…because obviously. Apparently BooBoo discovered the holy grail of woodchips and everyone got super jealous about it. His kinderpeeps thought he should give it to their crew’s ringleader, and when he refused, all of his friends turned against him as per the kinderboss’s authoritative decree. In an instant, POOF! Exiled.
Obviously the situation was very distressing for my kindergartner. Convinced he no longer has friends, he’s declared that he’s officially through with kindergarten as the lonely keeper of the longest woodchip. I guess it really is lonely at the top.
So here’s the thing, BooBoo asked me to call the kinderboss’s mom so she would talk to her son and force him to be friends with BooBoo again. Um, no. I’m not going to do that. Do I think it was lame for a 6-year-old to shun my 5-year-old over a woodchip? Yes. Do I think the rest of the kindergartners are acting like sheep for turning against my kid? I do. Am I going to do anything about it? No way.
There was no bloodshed. There was or serious abuse. There was just typical playground unkindness, the kind I’m sure my own son has been guilty of in the past to some capacity. If my kid doesn’t learn how to handle this kind of rejection and hostility now, I’m afraid he’ll never make it past the second grade.
There’s a time and a place for Mama Bear and right now isn’t it. I’m choosing to stand back because this time I think doing nothing is the answer.
Do you get involved when your kid fights with their friends?
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