Poke it and you’re screwed because the hulking cranky wrapped in growls is about to take off your face.
The realization that I can’t shield my children from the pokers of the world has been a bittersweet one. Because once that inner Mama Bear gets to roaring, it’s hard to reel her and her angry back in.
Lately, when my kindergartner has gotten off the bus, the first words out of his mouth are “Chuck Norris said mean things to me.”
And no, the other kid isn’t named Chuck Norris, but considering I’d like to punch him in the kittens, picturing someone who can take it feels more appropriate.
As for the “mean things,” they’ve run the gamut from “he’s going to put a curse on me and bad things are going to happen,” to “the kid across the street doesn’t really like me and never wanted to be my friend.”
And yes, I get that gradeschoolers are immature and dumb and say stupid things just to get a rise out of people, but still. It gets my hackles all rumpled and frowny, while my subconscious Mama Bear bares its teeth and roars and tells Chuck Norris to suck it.
Is it passive aggressive?
Should I do more about it?
I don’t know.
All I know is that the reasons (if they exist) Chuck Norris feels the need to pick on a kid younger and smaller than he is escapes me.
Why I feel the need to rip off his face with one swipe of my clawed paw in order to protect my son’s feelings also escapes me.
After all, as adults we all know crappy people exist in the world, and sadly, that’s not going to change any time soon.
My son is learning this disappointing life lesson early, and we’re using it to teach him that he can stand up for himself in a non-violent way (bared teeth aside), emphasizing that he should continue to tell us or his teachers what’s going on.
Does your inner beast agree?
Photo credit: morguefile