It all started innocently enough. Zachary was very excited that it was finally his turn to take his preschool group mascot, Haley the Hippo, home for the weekend. The instructions were pretty simple- take care of her, have fun with her, and document your adventures. Zach was very clear that we needed to be gentle with her. He obviously took his duties as her caretaker very seriously.
He was sure to bring Haley with us on our outings, when appropriate. We left her in the car when we took a walk through the muddy eucalyptus grove, but she was lucky enough to visit the zoo and she even wore her pretty pink dress when she joined us for dinner at a friend’s house. It was all going well until I had a margarita (or two) and Zach made the unwise decision to leave Haley unattended while he played Wii with his brother and friends.
At that point, Haley’s adventures took a turn for the inappropriate. And because I can’t, in good conscience, document all of this in her preschool diary, I thought I’d share her shenanigans here. You can check it out below.
Then tell me, have you ever taken control of your kid’s school assignment…for your own entertainment?
Things started off really well. My youngest wasn't with us, so Haley got to sit in his seat. Safety first!
Stop! Shower Time!
Haley stood guard as Zachary took a shower. She was even kind enough to hold onto his glasses for him.
Zach was able to introduce Haley to the Giraffes. They didn't seem too interested in her, though.
One of the gorillas at the zoo decided to get up close and personal with us while we were in the viewing area.
Zachary wasn't sure about turning his back on the rattlesnake, but he made sure to keep Haley protected.
He took Haley for a few trips down the playground's "Ant Hill."
At a friend's house before dinner, the boys took Haley into the trampoline to work off some energy.
After her turn on the trampoline Haley noticed my margarita and that's when things started to go south.
I'm not sure how she managed it, but she made it onto the horse. I suspect she thought it was a bucking bronco ride.
Swinging from the…Ceiling Fan
This is when I knew we were really in trouble. Luckily, the fan wasn't on so her joy ride was short lived.
Then she started stumbling around and ended up face down a few times.
Eat Your Veggies
In an effort to sober her up, and redeem myself with our Preschool staff, I offered her some veggies and a glass of water. It seemed to work until...
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
...She met the Dragon. Oh. My. Goodness. This isn't acceptable at all. She claims he was just giving her a massage, but I didn't buy it. To timeout she went.
It didn't take long until she was passed out on the couch. We're hoping for a pretty tame final day. I think Haley might be ready to go back to preschool now.
Read more from Meghan on MeghanGWine and From Demo to Dream.
Follow Meghan on Facebook and Twitter.
Follow Babble Kids on Facebook and Twitter
More on Babble:
20 Hilarious Letters Written by Kids
20 “Classic” Movies You Should Watch With Your Kids
15 of the Best Kids Books You Might Not Already Own
8 Skywatching Events You and Your Kids Won’t Want to Miss in 2012