Nobody ever tells you when you’re holding that precious baby that one day he’ll stop giving you those hair-pulling hugs, sticky hand holds, and slobbery kisses.
The closest thing you’ll ever hear is something obscure like, “It goes by so fast”. When you’re in it, it doesn’t go by so fast. The days are long, made only longer by your over-tired baby’s refusal to sleep. You’re tapped out physically and emotionally and as much as you adore your baby you wish – even if only momentarily – that time would pass a little faster. And then one day, quite unexpectedly, you realize that it has. And it hurts.I’ve written about wanting another baby in the wake of the 10 degrees of mom-sad, but of all the bittersweet experiences of a mother’s heart, I believe one stings most of all: when the kisses stop. Ugh, total gut punch.
From the day my sweet BooBoo was born he was my love bug. He nuzzled into the crook of my arm and made this breathy humming noise like a purr. It was weird and adorable and amazing. As BooBoo grew he preferred my hugs to everyone else’s and no matter how busy or excited he was, when he’d crawl up to my lap he’d instantly bury is head in my neck. I never minded the boob jabs and hair pulls for they were a small price to pay for all of that delicious love.
As he continued to grow and play harder, my stinky boy would notoriously stop whatever he was doing to bury his head in my belly, wrap his arms around my hips, and then reach his neck up as far as he could with puckered lips for a kiss. It had always been this way and I suppose somewhere in the back of my delusional mind, I figured it always would. But I was wrong; one day the kisses stopped.
I didn’t notice the change overnight and I’m not even quite sure it happened gradually. All I know is that my son who’s turning 5 this fall has become a big boy. Sure, he still loves his mom but the unexpected belly hugs and playtime love intermissions are now a thing of the past.
“The time goes by so fast,” is right. It does go by so fast, and with it takes a piece of your heart that aches to go without. I know the void in my sensitive heart will soon be filled with all sorts of pride for the boy he has become, but today – right now – I could really use a kiss.
How did you feel when the kisses stopped?
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