Why Didn't Mom Come on Vacation With Us?

Guess who took this photo of my daughter photographing a geyser?

We vacationed in Montana and in Yellowstone this summer! It was really great! We have tons of photos documenting all the fun we had. There we are hiking, sightseeing, white water rafting, playing golf. What? Oh, well, I’m not exactly in the pictures. I’m the one taking the pictures. You know, because I’m the mom.

And that means that although we have nearly 300 photos on our vacation, with the exception of the ones that were taken of our white water rafting trip by a professional photographer, I am in exactly two photographs.

It’s making me a little sad.


It’s making me a little sad not because I enjoy having my photograph taken, nor because I am so photogenic that the world is robbed of my image captured for posterity. It’s making me sad because I worry that when my children look over these photographs with their own children, it’ll appear as though I weren’t even on vacation with them. Because there they are in the photos, with there father, and stepbrother, in various vacation destinations. But where is their mother? Where am I?

Of course they’ll know that I was there, they’ll remember the family trip, but the lack of photographic evidence still bugs me. Because by not being photographed, I have allowed myself to become invisible, to literally stay out of the picture.

What’s worse is that my favorite holiday photo cards are the ones that show the whole family, children and parents (and a pet, if applicable.) I know that many people like to make cards with children only, thinking them to the most photogenic family members, but I so much prefer to see the whole family. I firmly believe that parents are just as important as children and that they deserve equal time.

So my own shying away from photographs, and let’s face it, not insisting on being in them, smacks of hypocrisy.

After this summer’s vacation, I vowed to do better. From now on, I will demand equal photo-time with my family, if necessary I will photobomb a few shots.

I want my vacation legacy to be more than a photographer. I want to be the mom in the picture.

For more of Marinka, visit her personal blog Motherhood in NYC and The Mouthy Housewives, where she doles out advice as though it were candy. Mmm … candy. Also, follow her on Twitter, where she never refers to herself in the third person, but does have a potty mouth. Sorry!

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Article Posted 3 years Ago
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