Why I Let My Kids Win


I always said I wouldn’t be the type of mom who let her kids win at games.

My internal monologue went something like this: “Kids need to learn to lose. Life isn’t fair- it will teach them to be good teammates and competitors. It will show them that they aren’t always going to be the best. Or be on top. It will make them stronger.”

But in reality, I have found that I can’t bring myself to beat my kids at a game. I have become an expert at “throwing” a match.

I can’t break their little hearts. I’m apparently a total softie, and the tears and sadness, that are inevitable when they lose, kill me. But, in all honestly, if it carries on too long I end up getting annoyed with them. And that doesn’t end well for anyone. It’s just easier to let them win. They’re happy, I’m happy.

I can show them, by example, how to be a gracious loser. On the flip side, my husband has no qualms about beating them, so they are also getting the lessons I imagined in my pre-parent dream world. But I wonder if I am setting them up for disaster in the long run. I honestly don’t think there’s anything wrong with kids facing disappointment. It’s a part of life and they need to learn how to deal with it somewhere. But I can’t force myself to be the one who beats them and then does a little victory dance after a rousing game of Candyland or Chutes and Ladders.

So I ask you, what are your thoughts on this? Do you let your kids win?

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