When people ask me why, I joke that I consider that to be one of the perks of not marrying my dad.
To be fair, I’m not big on Days anyway. Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Arbor Day. Come on. Do we really need a day on the calendar to remind us to hug our parents? Or our favorite tree? Sure, it’s nice to have a day when someone says “great job!” or “thank you!” but I’d just as soon that the day be spontaneous (and preferably constant) rather than everyone-else-is-doing-it-because-it’s-on-the-calendar type of situation.
But I play along, of course. Because I don’t want my dad to be the only one out there without a gift on Father’s Day, I try to get him something that he’ll like and call him to say that he’s always been like a father to me. It’s our routine and it works.
My husband, however, is a different story. He is an excellent father and a fantastic co-parent. The shortcomings that I have as a mother he more than compensates. I am impatient, he is Job. I yell, he speaks softly. I panic, he is calm. (Hey, is anyone else wondering how someone like me snatched someone like him?) I appreciate him tremendously.
But I don’t feel I need to get him a gift to express it. That is my children’s responsiblity.
It was different when the kids were younger– I would take them to the Paint a Mug Palace and the Create a Photo Frame Salon. A few years that I forgot to arrange something I’d spring for some speakers or other things I knew he wanted. But the kids are 13 and 10 now and last year I told them that it’s their responsibility to think about how they wanted to celebrate Father’s Day with their dad.
Because while I appreciate him as a father to our children, Father’s Day is their time to shine.
They can decide if they want to go to the gift or card route, if they want to make dinner for him (like they did last year), or if they want to plan an activity during the day to spend with their dad.
And I will be on the sidelines, cheering.
Probably with a mimosa.