Categories

Words Every Mom Needs To Know

Motherhood has really changed me.  And not just the stretch marks and the bags under my eyes, I also have expanded my vocabulary  to include many new words– like kegeling and Ferberizing.

But through my thirteen years of parenting I’ve also made up some words. (Oh, sorry, I mean, I developed some words.)

Here they are for your consideration and use.  Just don’t forget to credit me every time you utter one.  Or think one.

1. LOMGOL! - a winning of combination of LOL and OMG and another LOL  for those times that you child does something that makes you both laugh and gasp with horror. (Feel free to adjust to LOOMGOMGOMGOMG in cases where projectile vomit is involved.)

Example: Petey took off his diaper and LOMGOL, look at the living room walls!

 

2. Fu-ntasia! – when you are wanting to say a Very Bad Word but make it child-friendly just in time!

Example: OUCH, oh, Fu-ntasia it! Who keeps leaving Lego pieces on the carpet?!

 

3.  Nuggetize – the act of feeding  chicken nuggets again to the kids for dinner because it is easier than making anything else.

Example: I’ll be home a bit late tonight, honey, can you nuggetize the kids?

 

4. Pizzafication Syndrome – the parental state of having been to too many child birthday parties and eaten too much pizza.

Example: Yes, I see that incredible coupon for Domino’s Pizza, but I am in the late stages of the Pizzafication Syndrome and won’t be having any.

 

5.  InLaw & Order: The Emmy-Award-winning performance of getting along with your in-laws during the holidays.

Example: Easter was great, like an InLaw & Order marathon!

 

6. Chardoneigh:  The embarrassing laughter that occurs when a mom has had that extra glass of wine.

Example: I’d love a refill, but I don’t want to Chardoneigh in the middle of this playdate.

 

7. VBACation:  The break that you will have from talking about anything else once a friend of yours has a VBAC.

Example:  I can’t tell my best friend about my work crisis because she’s on a VBACation and I have to watch more slides.

 

8. The Circumcised Unvaccinated Stay-At-Home Bottle:  Reference to all the “mommy wars” that you’ll see in the media.

Example:  Next, on the nightly news! We will have experts weighing in on the circumcised unvaccinated stay-at-home-bottle and why the choices you have made for your family are all wrong!

 

9. Cookalate: The mathematical formula by which you figure out how many meals you have to cook before you can get take-out.

Example: According to my cookalation, since I made meatloaf on Monday and meatlessloaf on Tuesday, we’re due for some Tacos-To-Go!

 

Do you have any words that you’ve made up? Please share the wealth so that our vocabulary can grow together!

 

 

Tagged as:

Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, profile photo and other personal information you make public on Facebook (e.g., school, work, current city, age) will appear with your comment. Learn More.