Yeehaw? The One Billionth Pre-school Party This Year

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I just lost two hours of my life to finding the perfect outfit to dress Anders as a farmer. There are so many things wrong with that sentence I don’t even know where to begin.

First off, it is July not October. Second, I live in the South. In fact, I live in what many consider to be the most redneck county in my state which in my mind means I should be struggling to find apparel that does not in some way depict a tractor or pair well with cowboy boots. Not the case, though after this morning’s trip I now believe my town to be the leading consumer of clothing depicting soaring eagles, rebel flags, and deer over camo print. 

After striking out at a couple of shops downtown, I finally caved and headed into the “western” store I’ve been driving by without slowing for all of my adult life. Ordinarily I would be flattered by the number of stares I got while browsing through rack upon rack of bass fishing and four-wheeling t-shirts, but I’m pretty sure they were wondering what the woman in skinny jeans, a blouse, and gold Toms holding a Venti latte was doing in that particular establishment.

Eventually a salesgirl approached me and asked if she could help at which point we entered into a very confusing debate about the differences between cowboys and farmers that ended with her talking me into a pricey pair of children’s overalls.

But Wait! This farm-filled adventure doesn’t stop there. In the morning I will wake up an hour early to bake homemade biscuits. No. Sorry. I can’t even type that without laughing. Let’s try that again.

In the morning I will wake up an hour early to drive to the nearest fast food establishment to purchase two dozen biscuits. Why? Well, because I was the last parent to the sign-up sheet and plates, forks, and napkins were already taken. Isn’t it ironic how being a slacker so often requires an A-game?

What I am trying to tell you is that tomorrow Anders’ pre-school class is having a farm party. A farm party! You may be wondering what the heck happens during a farm party. Your guess is as good as mine. Apparently it involves eating biscuits, dressing in overalls, and forcing your mom to visit the country western store to ask a girl half her age if they carry any farmer suits.

But word at the dinner table is that Anders has been practicing his line-dancing and the opportunity to witness him do his best boot scootin’ boogie makes this whole crazy thing kind of worth it.

Photo credit: iStock

Read more from Amber on The Daily Doty and Babble’s Strollerderby.

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