Your Ultimate Parent Permission Slip

I never claimed to be an expert in parenting because that would be stupid. A degree in Child Development, two kids, and a blog does not an expert make. How could I possibly presume to know what works for you and your kids when I don’t even know what works for me and mine?

When I first became a parent I searched everywhere for answers. Not to date myself or anything, but back then the internets were still sort of a new and mysterious; not a place one necessarily sought answers for dizzying personal questions. I only wish I had discovered a blog, or a mother, or anyone that would have given me permission to feel how I was feeling. I didn’t need an expert per se, just someone to tell me that the thoughts and feelings I had were normal. I needed relief from all the “should do/shouldn’t do” parenting buzz.

Did I have permission to break the “rules” of traditional parenting in favor of my sanity or my gut? I honestly didn’t know.

Since I was never actually able to find the permissions I was looking for back then, I feel the overwhelming desire to offer them. Because sometimes you just need a random online stranger to agree with you, amirite?

Check out this ultimate parent permission slip designed to banish your guilt once and for all and encourage you to go your own damn parenting way.

  • And heeeeere we go! 1 of 25
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    (Go ahead and blame me later if you need to...)

  • Formula feeding 2 of 25
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    I don't know your boobies, your baby, or your stance on bottle vs. breast. Guess what, neither does anyone else. You know what's up, you're done your research, now make your own decision with pride. Your baby, your boobies, your business.

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Disposable diapers 3 of 25
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    Poop is gross. No one can really blame you for wanting to get rid of that stuff the moment it's produced. Whether you have the time or energy to dispose of baby toxic waste in the most environmentally responsible fashion isn't for me (or the collective world) to judge. But they will, so get used to it and buy in bulk.

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  • Vaccinations 4 of 25
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    You've read scary stuff online. You feel confused, and why wouldn't you! That mom down the street knows somebody who knows somebody who bought something from the sister-in-law of your kid's teacher's cousin whose baby suffered from some horrible thing on account of getting vaccinated. Talk to your pediatrician, check your gut, and make the decision you feel is best.

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Daycare (yes, even infant daycare) 5 of 25
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    I put my infant son in daycare and the decision just about killed me dead. It's a personal and difficult choice you have to make based on your family's circumstances. There is no right or wrong answer. No matter what you decide, know that it's not abuse, it's daycare and it's absolutely possible to find a daycare to love should you need to.

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  • Using TV as a babysitter 6 of 25
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    Once upon a time I gained an ass-ton of media attention for admitting that my toddler had a TV in his room. While you might not agree with the merits of putting a TV in a kid's room, the vast majority of us have used TV as a babysitter. Go ahead, tell me you haven't. I'll tell you that you're totally missing out.

  • Having one child 7 of 25
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    You're allowed to produce or not produce as many kids as your heart, psyche, ovaries, and bank account can handle. There's no shame in being a "one and done"-er, in fact, all those myths about only children are just that - MYTHS! Check out what parents of only children want you to know.

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  • Needing “me” time 8 of 25
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    You guys, parenting is hard. OF COURSE YOU NEED A BREAK FROM IT! Take some "me" time like a boss; ain't nobody gonna give you an invitation (only permission in the form of this slide).

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  • Feeding your kid fast food 9 of 25
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    Whether your busy schedule or a hankering for greasy goodness leads you to the drive-thru line, I'm not going to judge you. Fast food tastes stupid good and picky kids love that crap. I hereby give you permission to feed your kid the occasional burger and will gladly accept the blame of our nation's child obesity epidemic because somebody's going to try and pin it on me anyway.

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  • Not throwing your kid a birthday party 10 of 25
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    Whether I'm hating on birthday parties in general for obvious reasons or failing to throw my own kid a birthday bash, I'm here to tell you that you're allowed to celebrate or not celebrate birthdays however you want to. Just remember: it's a birthday, not the second coming.

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Not liking your kid sometimes 11 of 25
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    Of course you adore your child, but that doesn't mean your child's attitude is always worthy of adoration. Parent, please! It's OK not to like your kid sometimes...or all the time...as long as you love them anyway, which you so totally do.

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • “Bribing” your kid’s teacher 12 of 25
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    Well, yeah you want your kid's teacher to like them (and you). Why not tip the odds in your likeable favor with these educationally-acceptable tips to improve your chances?

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  • Letting dirt win 13 of 25
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    Parents, you've fought the good fight with dirt and lost. Go ahead, wave the filthy once-white flag. Kids need more dirt anyway; science says so.

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  • Sending your sick kid to school 14 of 25
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    Yep, I've done it and so has almost every other parent. Where do you think your kid picked up that nasty bug anyway? I'm not telling you to take that virus back where it came from, but I'm not not telling you to either.

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Not volunteering in the classroom 15 of 25
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    Some people (like, oh say...me) have no business volunteering in the classroom. There's no shame in being one of us. Or maybe there is, but who really cares.

  • Disciplining your kid 16 of 25
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    Disciplining your kid sucks. If you're in private, it's exhausting. If you're in public, it's embarrassing and exhausting, but do it anyway because there are fights worth having with your kids and for good reason.

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  • Ditching your kid 17 of 25
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    There's place for "me"-time and then there's a place for ditching your kids to have fun with your friends on occasion, because obviously. Life didn't end when you became a parent. OK, it sorta did, but fight back in the name of fun. At least you can say you tried.

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Bribing the babysitter 18 of 25
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    You might need to be PC in the way you bribe your child's teacher, but all bets are off when it comes to bribing your child's babysitter! Not only do you want your babysitter of choice to give your family first priority, you want them to really love your kids so you can go out and have a little fun sans the unfun guilt.

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Ditching organized sports 19 of 25
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    There's no law on the books that says kids MUST participate in organized sports, but man does it feel that way. Maybe your kid isn't interested in sports, maybe you don't have the time for practice, or maybe you're an exhausted parent who's earned the right to be selfish about their weekends. Whatever the reason, do sports if you want to and don't if you don't. The end.

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  • Simple Halloween costumes 20 of 25
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    When did Halloween costumes become such a freaking big deal? It's a fun little dress-up holiday, nothing more. If  you enjoy spending a frightening amount of money on a costume that will be worn for a few hours at most, then do that. All the better selection of cheapy minimalist costumes for the rest of us.

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  • Being an badass 21 of 25
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    Badassery isn't the funnest fun you'll ever have as a parent, but it's a necessary evil. Leave your bleeding heart behind and sharpen your claws.

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  • Using your kid as an excuse 22 of 25
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    Oh, come on! You know you use your kid as an excuse. Own it; you have my express written authorization.

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  • Not liking your kid’s teacher 23 of 25
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    It's OK not to like your kid's teacher, but if you're fortunate, you might just find that the teacher you disliked so much ended up being the best one for your child.

    Image credit: Shutterstock

  • Faking it 24 of 25
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    You have permission to fake being an awesome parent whenever possible, and if it wasn't for this post, you might have actually believed I was one of the good ones. My bad.

  • Having a favorite child 25 of 25
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    If you have more than one kid, you'll have a kid that bugs you the least on any given day. So what if that's your favorite child that day? Chances are, tomorrow you'll favor a different one. It's cool. It's fine. They never have to know. It only gets weird when someone else accuses you of having a favorite. Gulp.

     

 

C’mon, what did I miss? What else do parents have permission to do?

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