Being a mom to bicultural kids can be complicated, if you let it be. I started my blog out of frustration with how others viewed my family and the crazy questions we were asked. I learned quickly that if you let the negativity consume you, IT WILL!
I didn’t want my kids to suffer from someone else’s opinions and so I had to get over the fact that we were being judged and discriminated against to set the example for my kids.
I knew I had to educate my kids first on who we are as a family, where dad and I are from, and why we are special. I need the positivity to come from my husband and I so that when the negative questions and comments are asked we have all the tools and experiences to reassure them. We need to be the foundation to their self esteem so that having a self identity comes easy.
Once I changed my way of thinking, being questioned didn’t bother me anymore. I wanted to educate others on my kid’s cultures because if you look around our world is becoming so diverse and multicultural!
These are 5 of the common questions my bicultural family is always asked.
Are they mixed? 1 of 5Asking if the kids are mixed is better than being asked "What are they" or even worse just assuming.
Is their dad black? 2 of 5Being asked if the kid's dad is black or African American doesn't bother me because it's the truth. I use to take it personal and assumed I was being asked more than what was asked.
Can I touch their hair? 3 of 5I've realized how curious people are about my kid's hair. I use to find it awkward to be asked about their hair that is until I had a few people just walk up and grab it. Touching any child without asking is not OK!
Why don’t they speak Spanish? 4 of 5Asking why my kids aren't bilingual or understand Spanish is a much well received question. Being told we are bad parents for not teaching our kids Spanish is hurtful and untrue. I'm always open to discussing our journey to being a bilingual family.
Where is their mom/dad? 5 of 5When we are not all together some people also ask why dad or mom aren't joining us. I've learned that people again are just curious. They don't mean nothing more that just being curious why we aren't together.
I do make it a point to share that the way a question is asked can make a big difference on the answer you get in return. There is no need to be rude and it’s ok to be curious.
What questions about your family are you asked that seem different?
Do strangers ever get too personal?
Read more of Ruby’s writing at Growing Up Blackxican