My mami is the queen of subtle hints. She has her unique ways of dropping any kind of situation on me and walking away like a boss. For example: Buying 6 dozens of oranges, so I can eat more fruit. Buying 3 boxes of cookies to fatten up my tiny 8 year old son.
We are about to have a wedding in the family and I have the privilege of being one of the Damas de Honor (Maid of Honor). My cousin is the one getting married and, as we all know, one of the best parts of planning a wedding is bridesmaid dress shopping. The blissful couple got engaged earlier in the year and, like all Latinos (and everyone, really), I waited to the last possible day to drop some pounds.
Yeah, that didn’t happen.
Then last week, I went to my car and found this on the hood:
This is going to work. I can feel it!
I walked into my mom’s house, praying that she was the one who placed my only hope to fit into a dress on my car, and not someone random who thought I needed this. I showed her the box and proceeded to thank her when she said, “Mira! Es como la Bumba!”
Translation: “Look! It’s like the Bumba” (I’m sure she meant Zumba). She then went on and on about the need to shed some weight because of the wedding, the dress, the seamstress, blah blah blah.
So, this means that her attitude toward all the dresses that I tried on, that she’d Ooh’d and Ahh’d at, mind you, was a complete lie.
I said thank you and put the box inside the house and it’s been in the same spot ever since. At least there’s some consolation if I do decide to melt off the pounds. I can dance it off with this Latin Par-tay Pack!