It’s been 45 days since I’ve seen my husband. It’s not the first time we’ve experience long distance love. We’ve been apart 6 months before while he was in the military and 60-90 days when the kids and I went go on vacation without him.
It can be challenging to be apart for so long but it definitely isn’t impossible. While this time apart is by choice. Moving away wasn’t in my life plan and it’s not like my family to move far from one another. I constantly feel I have to work on keeping the love going both with family and my husband. Luckily, my husband is very supportive with me visiting my family with the kids. He knows how important it is for us to see my side of the family once a year for a few months at a time. After all, we do live almost 3000 miles away.
While on vacation, I am always asked, don’t you miss him? Of course I do! I would love to bring him with me and have him stay but the reality is we can’t afford it so we do what is best for our family.
We’ve gotten great at keeping the love going while we are apart. Every year we grow more and miss each other even more but we make it work.
And to follow up the first question everyone wants to know, how do you guys make it work?
Here are some ideas on how we keep the love going while being miles apart.
- Learn your love languages- I know what type of love my husband needs from me and he knows what type I need. Learn the language and act upon it.
- Make time to connect- We make time to connect by setting up a date to talk. It varies in times but it’s daily. It’s time we dedicate to each other to learn how we are doing and what is going on.
- Check up on your love- Aside from our time to connect I like to check in and see how my love is when he doesn’t expect a call. A quick surprise “hello, how is your day” goes a long way.
- Video- We send messages to one another. We even chat at least 2 times a week via video chat. It helps to see how my husband is aside from our family chats with the kids.
- Send something special- Whether it’s something ordered like flowers or chocolates or if it’s something sweet you mail out yourself. Don’t let your love know and just surprise them. I get the most surprises but it goes with my love language.
- It’s the little things-Leave little things around the house so that they can find them while you are gone. My husband is great at leaving love notes. They are usually short and sweet with his signature smiley I save them all.
- Be supportive- It’s hard to be apart especially when you are the one left alone encourage them to go out and have a great time. Staying indoors is boring, lonely and it’s the perfect reminder to let you know your love is gone.
How do you keep your love going when you are apart from the one you love?
Read more of Ruby’s writing at Growing Up Blackxican