10 Things I Miss About Being In a Relationshipcarolyncastiglia
I read this great post on YourTango called 10 Reasons to Love Being a Single Woman by Ivy N. Allen, and I gotta tell ya, I agree with every single one of them. I love enjoying my own company, not having to clean up after someone else or try to fit another adult and his stuff into my tiny apartment, I love not “dealing with his people” (That one really made me laugh. Oh, in-laws!), I love that I can date different people, that I am my own woman and that I have time to “work on me.” (Specifically Thursdays at 11:30 for 45 minutes in a small room with no windows that I like to call the “vulnerability chamber,” aka my therapist’s office.)
But there are things that I miss about having another person around, namely just having another person around. Here are 10 things I miss about being in a relationship:
Sex 1 of 10
And not just sex, sex with someone else. No matter how hard I try I just can't figure out how to make out with myself.
Having someone to help with the heavy lifting. 2 of 10
Couches are easier to lift when someone else is there, you know? Don't even get me started on putting an IKEA bookshelf together all alone. (Actually, it was super easy, which is why IKEA is so popular. But it was lonely, which is why wine.)
Having someone to help with the chores. 3 of 10
I think back fondly on the old days when my gay husband and I used to make the bed with our adopted daughter, Nikki. Now it's just me and Nikki, laying on the bed weeping, covered in dirty sheets. David always did the laundry. AH-BOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO.
Having someone else there to help problem-solve with my daughter. 4 of 10
There are a lot of great things about being a single parent, and one of them is that you don't have to deal with the frustration of trying to problem-solve with someone who's not on the same page. That being said, if you're in a relationship with someone who is patient and good at dealing with the frustrations of young children, it's often easier to distract a child in order to stop them from overreacting to problems when someone else is there to pull focus. That's why I've decided that in the future I'm only going to date magicians. How you gonna cry about a broken toy when someone just pulled a quarter out of your ear, hmm? With that quarter, you can buy a new crappy small plastic toy from your school store that will also eventually break! Problem solved.
Going on fun dates. 5 of 10
Yes, I miss that. There's nothing funny about it. SOMEONE TAKE ME ON A FUN DATE. Summer is coming! I plan to start shaving soon!
Vacation 6 of 10
I haven't been on vacation since 2010, and that was only because my friend had a destination wedding in Florida. Relationships offer great incentives to plan a trip, because there's nothing like being with someone every day to make you want to escape!
Having someone to eat with and help cook. 7 of 10
I mean, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ALL THESE GINGHAM APRONS??? HUH? These peas I fried aren't gonna eat themselves! YOU THINK I CHOP UP A PEPPER FOR JUST ANYBODY?!
Having someone to help financially. 8 of 10
That thing where you run out of money right before your next check comes but your lover says, "Come on, let me take you out to dinner." That. Oh, and making fans out of our money. I miss that, too.
Just talking over coffee. 9 of 10
I needn't go on about talking over coffee because Jewel said it best (trust me, watch that link), but, I really miss just connecting over coffee in white mugs wearing white pajamas in our white bed covered in coffee stains and burn marks.
Butterflies 10 of 10
Yes, entirely earnestly, what I miss most about being in a relationship is that tingly feeling you get when you're falling in love with someone. Love. I mean, what is love? Who knows. I don't know. I haven't found a healthy version of it yet, but even in my past relationships, flawed as though they were, I still really enjoyed coming at them with high hopes, and I learned something from each one. I know now that butterflies aren't enough to make a relationship last, but they sure are the best part.
All photos via iStock.