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10 Things Moms Do That Are More Awkward, Painful, and Time-Consuming Than a Mammogram

10 Things Moms Do That Are More Awkward, Painful, and Time-Consuming Than a Mammogram - BabbleAccording to ABC News, many women put off mammograms because they think mammograms will be too painful. ABC’s Sara Haines does a great job debunking that myth, trying out several things women regularly do in the name of beauty that are wayyyyy more painful than mammograms.

I don’t do most of the things that Ms. Haines tries out: I don’t Botox, I’ve never gotten a tattoo, and I don’t even wear high heels. I’ve never had my eyebrows threaded, but I have waxed. And, I’ve had mammograms. And I can honestly tell you that Ms. Haines is right: if you’re tough enough to rip the hair right out of your face with a strip of wax, you can definitely handle a mammogram, no problem.

There are lots of reasons women avoid mammograms. They think they’ll be uncomfortable or painful. They think they’ll be awkward. Probably most significantly, as moms, we often just don’t make the time to take care of ourselves, because we’re really, really busy.

It’s important to note that as moms, though, we’ve gotten through things that are far, far more awkward and painful. And we certainly make time for things that are far less valuable than our own health. Let’s take a look:

  • 1. Birth 1 of 10
    10 Things Moms Do That Are More Awkward and Painful Than Mammograms - Babble

    Let's start with the obvious: birth. We won't even talk about the fact that of course birth is more painful than a mammogram. You've already blocked out/forgotten about the pain anyway, because survival of the species depends on women doing exactly that. Instead, let's focus on how awkward birth is. Let's face it, when that third intern checked your cervix, any semblance of modesty went right out the window. So you can just stop with worrying about how "awkward" it is to put your breast on a glass plate. 

    (Photo Credit: iStockphoto)

  • 2. Birth: C-Section 2 of 10
    10 Things Moms Do That Are More Awkward and Painful Than Mammograms - Babble

    Rolling up your giant-bellied body into a ball shape in order to get a spinal injection before your C-Section is the very definition of awkward. And the shot itself is about 500 billion times more painful than a mammogram. Adding to the awkwardness: during my second C-section, I had a reaction to the anesthesia and vomited repeatedly throughout the procedure. Vomiting while lying prone? Is disgusting. When people talk about the magical, beautiful moment of birth, I don't think they're talking about my husband holding a vomit cup next to my head while my obstetrician is elbow-deep in my abdomen. Let's compare that to a mammogram, where you're standing up, clean, and not vomiting. Mammograms for the win.

    (Photo Credit: iStockphoto)

  • 3. Adoption 3 of 10
    10 Things Moms Do That Are More Awkward and Painful Than Mammograms - Babble

    Yes, I know it seems like adoption wouldn't be painful and/or awkward. But I have enough friends who have adopted their beautiful children to know differently. Even putting aside the entire emotionally difficult adoption process, I know full well that the questions strangers ask you about your adoption are approximately eleventy million times more awkward than a mammogram. 

    (Photo Credit: iStockphoto)

  • 4. Taking your toddler out in public. 4 of 10
    10 Things Moms Do That Are More Awkward and Painful Than Mammograms - Babble

    Toddlers are basically wild animals, and it's our job to mold them into functional members of society. Part of that process involves taking them out in public, so that they can learn how to behave, and also so moms don't go stir-crazy from being stuck in the house with our precious pumpkins. When you start screaming the answers at Special Agent Oso, it's time to head to Starbucks or something. Unfortunately, this exposes unsuspecting strangers to our children. In any case, pretty much every single thing your toddler has ever said in public is wayyyyyyy more awkward than a mammogram.

    (Photo Credit: iStockphoto)

  • 5. That first time you realize you sound *exactly* like your mother. 5 of 10
    10 Things Moms Do That Are More Awkward and Painful Than Mammograms - Babble

    Maybe it happened when you threatened to turn this car around right now. Maybe it happened the first time you called your son "Mister" as in, "you better think again, Mister." Maybe it happened when you wondered out loud when teenage girls started dressing like that. Maybe it happened when you clutched your pearls over Miley Cyrus' VMA performance exactly the way your mom did over Madonna's VMA performance thirty freaking years ago. Whenever it happened, it happened. And it's a verrry awkward moment. I can tell you that it's even more awkward when it happens in front of your parents, because they will laugh and laugh and laugh. Then they'll give your kids Pixy Stix and glitter, and go home, still laughing.

    (Photo Credit: iStockphoto)

  • 6. Driving so much that you forget where you’re going. 6 of 10
    10 Things Moms Do That Are More Painful, Awkward, and Time-Consuming Than Mammograms - Babble

    My kids are not overscheduled. We're just not that family. But I do have four kids, and they do have activities. They also have doctors' appointments, dentist appointments, and the older ones babysit. And sometimes I drive them so much that I forget where the heck I'm going. The thing is, we make the time for all their stuff. Guess what? We can make the time for our stuff too. Yes, Johnny can miss one soccer practice or tuba lesson or whatever it was you're supposed to take him to that afternoon. And if need be your kids can sit in the waiting room and read while you have your appointment, because God knows you spend enough time waiting around for them to be done with stuff.

    (Photo Credit: iStockphoto)

  • 7. In the time you just spent playing Candy Crush, you could have scheduled your appointment. And also all your friends’ appointments. 7 of 10
    10 Things Moms Do That Are More Awkward, Painful, or Time-Consuming Than Mammograms - Babble

    I can see how much Candy Crush Saga you're playing. My Facebook feed is full of your Candy Crush scores and your status updates about not being able to get past whatever level you're stuck on. So don't tell me you don't have time to schedule a mammogram. I'm not saying that you should stop feeding your Candy Crush addiction. I'm saying just pause your addiction for a couple minutes. And speaking of Facebook and being online, you can probably just open up another tab and schedule a mammogram appointment online. Yay! You don't even have to talk to anyone!  

    (Photo Credit: King)

  • 8. Being beaten up by a baby. 8 of 10
    10 Things Moms Do That Are More Painful, Awkward, and Time-Consuming Than a Mammogram - Babble

    It's a good thing babies are so cute, because they start beating the crap out of you on Day One. Between those razor-sharp kitten claws they're born with, and that weird pinching thing they seem to love doing, becoming a mom means tolerating a surprisingly amount of pain on a regular basis. Yes, a mammogram involves sandwiching your breast in between two hard, flat plates. It's still less pinchy than a baby. 

    (Photo Credit: iStockphoto)

  • 9. One word: LEGOs. 9 of 10
    10 Things Moms Do That  Are More Awkward, Painful, and Time-Consuming Than Mammograms - Babble

    I have been beaned in the head with a LEGO X-Wing Starfighter. I have been whacked with a LEGO lightsaber. I have bent fingernails backward trying to separate two flat pieces. And of course, I have stepped on countless LEGO bricks. Mammograms have nothing on LEGO bricks when it comes to pain.

    (Photo Credit: iStockphoto)

  • 10. Carrying ALL THE THINGS. 10 of 10
    10 Things Moms Do That Are More Painful, Awkward, and Time-Consuming Than a Mammogram - Babble

    I'm pretty sure I've given myself a permanent spinal deformity by carrying ALL THE THINGS. Kids, diaper bags, laundry, purse, those plastic grocery bags that leave deep grooves on your arm--all of it at once. Why am I carrying laundry and groceries and my purse all at once? I have no idea. These things just happen. Also, I think my neck has actually moved over two inches to the right from years of carrying a heavy, sleeping toddler on my left shoulder. Mammograms may be the only time you find yourself standing somewhere without having your hands full. Frankly, a mammogram is a veritable day at the spa compared to the normal stuff I do.

    (Photo Credit: iStockphoto)

 

Read more from Joslyn on Babble and at her blog, stark. raving. mad. mommy. You can also follow Joslyn on FacebookTwitter, and Pinterest.

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