You Know Youre a Mommy Blogger If… 1 of 11
Hi, my name is Monica and I am a mommy blogger. I realized this the moment I began documenting my boob size and bowel movements for the world at large...and I hadn't even given birth yet! (That was two years ago.) Here are the 10 telltale signs...
All photos courtesy Monica Bielanko
You Know Youre a Mommy Blogger If… 2 of 11
1: You post pictures of your offspring at least twice a week
These pictures may or may not include a fancy couch randomly placed in a remote location such as a wooded area or an orchard. You also post action shots of your baby sleeping, eating and playing with descriptive captions such as ssshhh!
You Know Youre a Mommy Blogger If… 3 of 11
2: Youve posted a sappy letter addressed to your child
And it goes a little something like this: Dear Baby, today you are three months old. You are smiling, and I swear you are talking to me! You love to look at your hand, and its the funniest thing ever. In fact, youre THE MOST hilarious baby alive, and I cant imagine life without you. Love, Mama.
You Know Youre a Mommy Blogger If… 4 of 11
3: You believe your kids quotes are worth reading
You know what Im talking about — that sidebar on your homepage that has up-to-the-minute updates on cute or hilarious things your child has said.
You Know Youre a Mommy Blogger If… 5 of 11
4: You create You-Tube collages of your child set to music
Ten minutes isnt too long, right? There are just so many ADORABLE photos of baby at four months old, its tough to eliminate any of them!
You Know Youre a Mommy Blogger If… 6 of 11
5: You talk about your breasts, a lot
Because the world needs to know the shape, size and weight of your breasts pre- and post-baby and how unsexy breastfeeding is.
You Know Youre a Mommy Blogger If… 7 of 11
6: You reference your body in terms of before and after
You clearly think of your body in terms of before baby and after baby, and document accordingly, ie: I just happened to find this photo of me in a bikini during spring break in college. Ah, the good ol days! Now I dont even need a bra, I just tuck them in my waistband!
You Know Youre a Mommy Blogger If… 8 of 11
7: You secretly dream of becoming the next Dooce
Thousands of adoring fans will hang on your every typed word, youll earn big money for writing about your family, youll score a deal with HGTV, and youll rake in even more money for speaking engagements around the country &mdash its just one Mom 2.0 conference away! Right?
You Know Youre a Mommy Blogger If… 9 of 11
8: You can type one-handed
If you can type a 1,000-word post, pictures included, with one hand while breastfeeding in less than 20 minutes, youre for sure a mommy blogger.
You Know Youre a Mommy Blogger If… 10 of 11
9: You give yourself a pep talk after reading comments
After all that (over-)sharing, you remind yourself that no one loves your kids quite as much as you do. Then, 10 minutes later you exhibit mommy blogger traits one, two, three or four.
You Know Youre a Mommy Blogger If… 11 of 11
10: You hunt trolls
If youve searched ISP numbers in hunt of a trolls location or catch yourself thinking of snappy comebacks for said troll at random moments during the day, like while giving your kids a bath, sorry, but youre a mommy blogger.