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10 Very Real and Ridiculous Reasons Why Kids Are Late to School

Photo Credit: Michel Marcol

I’m always five or ten minutes late for everything, and it drives me insane. I was not like this before I had kids. While my beloved offspring are not among the chronically tardy (at least to school), it has been very difficult lately to get them to school on time.

So I asked the hilarious women who hang out with me on the Rants from Mommyland Facebook wall to share some of the real and perhaps embarrassing reasons their kids were late for school or daycare. And to set the tone, I started with my own admission:

“Mommy lost her cell phone and she stomped all over the house for a long time saying G*DAMNIT and looking for it and then it was in her pocket the whole time but that’s not funny so don’t laugh or she’ll get mad.”

Here are 10 very real and very funny reasons why kids are sometimes late:

10. “How about you’re late because you stopped at the store on the way to school and couldn’t find your car in the parking lot — only to figure out that you drove your husband’s?”

9. “My two-year-old daughter hid her shoes … all of them. In the couch.”

8. “My husband moved my car and then forgot to leave me my only set of car keys. I looked all over the house, then realized he took them, and then waited for him to drive the half-hour home so I could leave. All the other times we were late? That was just because my 4-year-old refused to put on pants.”

7. “Backed the car out of the garage before opening the garage door, then had to wait for repairman to set us free and replace with a new garage door. Expensive and embarrassing!”

6. “My daughter had a great time repeating this: ‘Mom locked us out of the house but left the keys in the car with it running to heat up, but the car was locked and she had to call my dad who is a cop who had to respond in the police car with another officer and by the time dad got to our house, the car had run out of gas so dad had to bring me to school. He’s not happy with mom and now he has to get her gas after his shift. I thought it was cool to come to school in a police car. Dad isn’t happy with mom though.’”

5. “I kept waiting for my son to put on his shoes and coat. I reminded him. It’s not like it’s a surprise; we do it everyday. I just had no idea that it could take ANYONE 25 minutes to put on a pair of Crocs.”

4. “Lost my keys … found them in the freezer. Extreme pregnancy brain was my excuse for that one. Far less embarrassing than admitting I put my keys in the freezer.”

3. “Sick with GI issues all night and thought I could make it to drop them off. I couldn’t. Then found out the next day that my 5-year-old proclaimed to the WHOLE class, ‘I was late because my mom pooped her pants.’ I kid you not. How did I find out? A hysterically laughing friend called to see if I was okay after her son told her entire family at dinner that night. Yeah … motherhood not for the proud!!!”

2. “One lovely day, we were late for daycare because my infant daughter projectile vomited, Exorcist-style, all over me after nursing. It was in my hair and ran down every last nook and cranny. Of course it was also laundry day, and I was already wearing the only clean work clothes left that fit. So I took the world’s fastest prison shower and wore the prior day’s clothes. Halfway through the morning I realized that smell was ME. I missed some urp … IN MY EAR. From then on I got dressed *after* nursing and burping her.”

1. “Mommy thought it was Saturday.”

Check out our 10 tips for a stress-free morning routine!

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