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10 Ways I Vow to Be a Better Mom in 2012 (Come Hell or More Dora)

Sisters

I'm open to improving myself when it comes to raising my girls

I’d rather become the Kardashian’s third dog than go out on New Year’s Eve or make resolutions.

New Year’s Eve is like the prom — expectations are high, much money is spent, and someone always cries at the end. Resolutions are similarly amateurish.

However, with both of my daughters under the age of 4, let’s face it, I’m kind of an amateur mom. Which means there’s room for improvement. And in 2012, I promise to try. Like, really.

Here are the 10 ways I vow to do better next year as it relates to my girls, even though I know that no matter what, one (or all) of us will still end up crying anyway:

 


  • I Vow to Stop Hiding the Kids Books I Hate Reading 1 of 10
    I Vow to Stop Hiding the Kids Books I Hate Reading
    Reading is totally fundamental. But some books are less fundamental than others. In other words, some children's books just plain suck. And it's the sucky ones that my 3-year-old seems to pick when it's my turn to put her to bed. Her happiness is critical, but not much more so than my sanity. If I have to read Ladybug Girl and the Bug Squad one more time, someone or something will feel the wrath of my flyswatter. Oh wait, this is about turning a new leaf. Let me start again:
    I vow to stop hiding the books I hate reading as soon as we donate Ladybug Girl and the Bug Squad to the library.
  • I Vow to Stop Skipping Pages in the Kids Books I Hate Reading 2 of 10
    I Vow to Stop Skipping Pages in the Kids Books I Hate Reading
    It's hilariously adorable how much my toddler loves Dora. So cute! Not so cute? The Dora books, which are shockingly long and painful. I mean, how many times will this little girl be called upon to save a kingdom? Who knew so many kingdoms existed? Is no one else capable of preventing imminent doom besides a little girl and a monkey? What kind of bad luck do you have to have to need to overcome obstacles just to make it to the goddamn toilet in one piece, day in and day out? And why is that stupid fox not roadkill already? And yet. My older daughter can now count to 12 and say "owl" in Spanish. So I'll stop skipping pages. Even though it just might kill me.
  • I Vow to Pick Up My Preschooler Before 3:59 pm 3 of 10
    I Vow to Pick Up My Preschooler Before 3:59 pm
    Preschool pickup is anytime between 3:30 and 4 pm. I wait until 3:59 pm. Not because I don't adore my toddler. But because between the hours of 4 and 7 in my house, life sucks. And it's mostly because of her. To delay the inevitable isn't a bad thing. But I vow to man-up and grit my teeth a little harder to make it through the witching hour without losing my voice and/or my patience in 2012.
  • I Vow to Bathe My Children More Often 4 of 10
    I Vow to Bathe My Children More Often
    It's not like my kids are dirty. Or at least their clothes are clean. But the whole bathing thing is a ritual I kind of dread. Still, it wouldn't kill my kids to be cleaned more frequently than our town's streets. Besides, that's one of the main reasons why I have a husband.
  • I Vow to Take My Toddler Outside More Often 5 of 10
    I Vow to Take My Toddler Outside More Often
    I promise I'll play with my daughter outside more in 2012 than I did in 2011. It's not that my daughter watches that much TV. But I feel a bit bad when she asks to go outside and instead I ask her to watch TV. She just always seems to want to go outside at the most inconvenient times. Like when it's sunny out. Or when she's awake.
  • I Vow to Stop Illegally Drugging My Toddler 6 of 10
    I Vow to Stop Illegally Drugging My Toddler
    No more will her nighttime bottle be filled with scotch. After all, that's what Benadryl is for.
  • I Vow to Stop Telling My Older Daughter She Can’t Have the Last Piece of Chocolate 7 of 10
    I Vow to Stop Telling My Older Daughter She Can't Have the Last Piece of Chocolate
    Instead I'll just keep our stashes separate. And mine secret.
  • I Vow to Preserve My Toddlers Artwork 8 of 10
    I Vow to Preserve My Toddlers Artwork
    Or at least be a little discriminating and not throw away each and every piece. Just the ones that are oddly sized (read: bigger than a bread box, or made out of a bread box), and the ones she swears are masterpieces, even though they are actually only pieces of paper that she used as a napkin while eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
  • I Vow to Lift the Play-Doh Ban 9 of 10
    I Vow to Lift the Play-Doh Ban
    My toddler may start using Play-Doh again in 2012. As long as it's at someone else's house and the mess gets trapped in the fibers of their carpet.
  • I Vow to Stop Writing About My Daughters 10 of 10
    I Vow to Stop Writing About My Daughters
    Ha ha. Who are we kidding? How else will their future therapists earn a living if I don't keep writing about them?

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