I am a lover of words. That is why I write them. I find myself uttering the phrase “I love your words” so much so that I’ve been entertaining the idea of making it a series on my personal blog. I love reading words and feeling various emotions as I read them. There is so much beauty to be found if you look deeply at the multiple letters coming together in an effort to say something — sometimes simple and sometimes profound. And then there are those words that are spoken. Words that are music to my ears like the way my daughter says my name as she eagerly greets me when she comes in the house or the sweetness of her voice as she says her prayers always thanking God for her family. Or the passion behind my husband’s voice when he let me know that he would stand by me while I took a leap of faith.
I use my words all the time. That was a lesson I taught my daughter when she was just learning to talk and express herself. “Use your words,” I would say. It was something I picked up while working with toddlers at a children’s center. But what I have come to learn over time is that sometimes more can be said without even uttering one single word. Time has taught me that actions really do speak louder.
There are moments when I find myself wanting my husband to be the guy who tells me how much he loves me. All.The.Time. Growing up my mom, brother, and I said it to each other constantly. Our hellos, our goodbyes, and our everyday moments were sprinkled with “I love yous.” We were taught how short life was, how in a moment you could be gone. We knew there was always a possibility that something could happen causing you to wish that you took a minute to say those words. Those moments where I want my husband to be “that” guy are fleeting as I continue to learn lessons in acceptance. My husband isn’t that guy. He doesn’t end every phone conversation with an I love you and sometimes he doesn’t tell me all the things I want to hear. Yet occasionally he tells me and more importantly, each and every single day he shows me. After reading a post on all the ways guys “say it without saying it,” I was reminded of how true that is — how one can say so much without saying anything at all.
Not every person will have the ability to find the right words to identify whatever it is they are feeling. Not every person will have a deep love for words like I do. But thankfully, my person, the person I love has a deep love for me. Here are 10 ways my husband shows me he loves me without saying it:
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He posts horrible photos of me. 2 of 11This week I celebrated my birthday and my husband decided to Instagram a photo of me and the girls. I hated the photo. I am pretty sure the acne scars on my face resemble a beard and it looks like I got punched in the eye. For awhile I was annoyed that he even posted it. Later, after a birthday cupcake or two (and a sweet comment he made on the photo) I realized that when he looked at the photo he saw something different than what I saw. He saw three people that he loves more than anything. In his eyes the photo was beautiful. His girls, all three of us, are beautiful.
He shows up. 3 of 11We adore each other but in many ways we are so painstakingly different that ever so often we will ask ourselves what the heck we are doing. And then it hits us. And we know why we chose each other. We are reminded of why we decide to show up every single day.
He reads my words. 4 of 11I am long winded. I say in 10 words what most might say in 5 and I write at least 5 days a week. Although he may not read everything I write within an hour of publishing, eventually he reads every single word whether it be while hiding out in the bathroom or during some downtime before bed. He reads my words (and is ok that most often they are about him too).
He lets me have the last bite. 5 of 11I am selfish when it comes to the last bite. Usually the last bite is special because I have been saving it — the grand finale to the palate party that just happened in my mouth. And yet I always want his, especially when we go out to eat. I am always indecisive and find myself wanting what I am having and what he is having.
He loves our children. 6 of 11My babies are my joy. My first baby didn't start off as his baby and yet you would never know it if you watched the two of them together. The most important person to me in this whole world became the most important person to him too. And last year as our family grew his love for his first baby only grew stronger while at the same time he made room in his heart for his second. He will do anything to make sure that his girls are loved, protected, and well aware that he will always be there for them.
He watches my favorite television shows with me. 7 of 11Occasionally I will climb into bed beside my sleeping little one and turn on the TV to watch a favorite show. Before I can fast forward through the first set of commercials on the DVR into the room he walks. He plops down beside me and casually asks a question about Derek and Meredith. If he's going to watch Grey's Anatomy with me, it's imperative that he understands what is going on.
He scoots me back onto the bed every morning. 8 of 11We have been co-sleeping for the majority of the 6 months our littlest miss has been hanging with us from outside of the womb. Now that she doesn't fit in the co-sleeper, throughout the night she scoots closer and closer to me and, I scoot closer and closer to the edge of the bed in an effort to make sure she has lots of room. On some nights our oldest makes her way into our bed also. And during the night or first thing in the morning he scoots us over to ensure that she is comfy and I don't fall out of the bed.
He wipes my tears. 9 of 11There are times when my heart has been heavy. Even if he would have been able to put together a string of words in an attempt to comfort me I doubt it would have erased the heaviness my heart felt. Instead comfort was found when he understood that I needed to cry — that my tears needed to fall. He would stay silent. He would hold me. And he would wipe my tears.
He takes selfies with me. 10 of 11Having children we find ourselves behind the camera more often than not. Over the years there have been fewer and fewer photos of the two us. Sometimes we will be out and I'll insist that we pose for a photo. And then because I usually don't like it we pose again. Now that selfies are common people don't look at us so strangely when we take them. Even so, he doesn't worry about everyone else.
He eats my cooking. 11 of 11Cooking has never been my claim to fame and he knows that. Whatever I cook he eats it and doesn't complain (at least not to me anyway). He is simply grateful that I took the time to do it. And he understands that looks aren't everything. So my cookies don't look like the ones on the photo in the recipe. No biggie. If they're edible he'll eat them.
These are just a few of the ways my husband shows me that he loves me without saying a word. For more ways guys say it without actually saying it visit Your Tango.
What about your spouse? If you take a moment to reflect can you see all the ways they say it without even saying it?
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