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12-Year-Old Finds Obscene Message on Candy Heart

It rhymes with LICE KITS.

I don’t know about you guys, but we’re all fired up for Valentine’s Day at my house. Especially our 9-year-old. She delights in the amorous holiday and takes great pride in the Valentine cards she makes for her classmates. And though that fact is an undeniable one, the skeptic in me can’t help but attribute her diligence to a desire for sugar. Because that’s what really appeals to her about Valentine’s Day. The candy, that is.

Of course, along with candy comes the potential for hyperactivity and a cavity or two. And while neither one of those things are good, they’re nothing compared to what one set of parents has already had to deal with.

I just found a story on Gawker that reported a disturbing candy calamity involving a 12-year-old California girl. Ciara Bush was eating a handful of those iconic little candy hearts. You know, the ones with the cute sayings on them? Anyway, she stumbled upon one that was equipped with text that was anything but cute. Shocked by the crass, two-word message, Ciara brought the heart to her parents. Local news station KCRA reported what happened next.

Her parents were stunned at what they saw.
“Nice Tits,” said Derrick Deanda, reading the message printed on the small piece of candy.

W stands for wow, folks. What happened to “luv you,” “be mine,” and “you rock”? I mean, seriously. A little girl tears open a bag of Valentine’s Day candy and gets greeted by adult humor? Talk about giving new meaning to the holiday’s acronym. If kids were to act out messages of this nature? VD, indeed.

Deanda emailed the company and got a quick response. The candy manufacturer called the next day and asked Deanda to ship the entire bag back to them so they could investigate what may have gone wrong. Gawker speculates that there was likely a mix-up at the candy plant whereby a novelty, naughty heart got placed in a bag with the pure ones designed for little children like yours and mine.

Deanda is not planning on suing the company or anything like that. He just wanted to bring the gaffe to the attention of parents. And I’m glad he did. Because suddenly this parent has one more thing to do before his family is completely ready for Valentine’s Day.

Proofread the copy on those chalky, little hearts.

Image: KCRA

John Cave Osborne’s personal blog.
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