14 of the Unsexiest Beds You've Ever Seen

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I’m in the process of redecorating my bedroom, which means I’ve spent no less than 10 thousand hours hunting for the perfect bedding. Sure, traditional bedding styles are easy to find, but I was looking for something a little different, dramatic even. What I didn’t expect to find was really weird and even frightening bedding.

Why go for bedding that inspires romance, tranquility, or comfort when you could make a deadly or hilarious statement instead?

We’ve rounded up the unsexiest bed and bedding options available to buy for your viewing pleasure, check ’em out after the jump!

  • Coffin bed 1 of 14
    Coffin bed
    You might not want to sleep too well in this coffin bed.
    Get it from, $3,200
  • Zombie apocalypse 2 of 14
    Zombie apocalypse
    Because nothing is more inviting than blood splattered pillows and zombie hands.
    Contact Etsy seller Christiemelissa for pricing and availability.
  • Safe sleep 3 of 14
    Safe sleep
    Practice safe sleep with these novelty condom pillows.
    Contact Etsy seller LittleElk for pricing and availability.
  • Hot bods 4 of 14
    Hot bods
    Have you been working out or is it just your nude duvet cover?
    Visit Lazybone for pricing and availability.
  • Crime scene bedding 5 of 14
    Crime scene bedding
    I'm not sure I want to know what goes on under this bedding.
    Visit for pricing and availability.
  • Karma-sheet-ra 6 of 14
    Yes, you read the title correctly.
    Visit Karmasheetra for pricing and availability.
  • Persuasive bedding 7 of 14
    Persuasive bedding
    Well OK then, but only because your bedding asked so nicely.
    Visit for pricing and availability.
  • Sleep on the street 8 of 14
    Sleep on the street
    Sleep for social good. A large portion of the proceeds from the sale of this street bedding goes to help Europe's homeless youth.
    Visit SNURK for pricing and availability.
  • Panic in the bedroom 9 of 14
    Panic in the bedroom
    According to the reseller, the Quantum Sleeper provides "safe room" protection from bio-chemical terrorist attacks, kidnappers, stalkers, and natural disasters.
    Visit Quantum Sleeper for pricing and availability. Low-end market cost estimated at $150,000
  • Sex Ed bedding 10 of 14
    Sex Ed bedding
    In case you were wondering, this is how it's done.
    Visit for pricing and availability.
  • At the cannery 11 of 14
    At the cannery
    Sardine is to sleep as...hairspray is to math?
    Get it from Bed Toppings, $85
  • Make an impression 12 of 14
    Make an impression
    Because regular sheet marks are so 2011.
    Visit Martina Carpelan for pricing and availability.
  • So I married an axe murderer 13 of 14
    So I married an axe murderer
    Sure, you could buy these pillowcases, but why would you?
    Visit Lazybone for pricing and availability.
  • Cardboard box 14 of 14
    Cardboard box
    Sleep and make a difference. A large portion of the proceeds from the sale of this street bedding goes to help Europe's homeless youth.
    Visit SNURK for pricing and availability.

Totally important disclaimer: Babble is not responsible for any nightmares  or nocturnal unrest this bedding may cause.

Which bed is your “favorite”?

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