25 Examples of a New Pregnancy App that Sends Wryly Hilarious Texts from the Womb

Wee mail

One of the texts sent in the 15th week of pregnancy

If you suspect your fetus might already be a pop culture junkie with a wicked, dry sense of humor, there is now an app for you.

Wee Mail sends you texts each and every day of your pregnancy starting at 4-weeks along and extending to around 42-weeks (in case you’re overdue) that let you know what’s happening inside the womb — developmentally, yes, but more importantly, sarcastically, too (“16 weeks: I just developed the ability to hear and already I want to muzzle that Bieber girl.”).

You enter your due date (or that of your wife, partner, friend or whoever) and eventually you have the option to update the texts with the baby’s sex (“13 weeks [girl]: Careful what you name me. If it’s anything like Jade or Sparkle, you’ve got a future stripper on your hands.” Or, “25 weeks [boy]: “I have to admit, most days I feel like a man trapped in a woman’s body.”).

“Why wait, like, two years until your kid can actually speak when you can hear from the little nipper right now?” ask the geniuses behind the app, including new dad Keith Greenstein, who conceived (yup, that was intentional) of Wee Mail when his wife was pregnant as a way to keep family and friends apprised of all in utero events.

The hilarious app is free and available here. Here are 25 examples of Wee Mail mobile messages:

 

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  • 4 weeks 1 of 25
    4 weeks
    It takes a sophisticated fetus to have drive-thru bank humor.
  • 5 weeks 2 of 25
    5 weeks
    It's never too early to start Palin-bashing.
  • 5 weeks 3 of 25
    5 weeks
    A bridge over troubled (amniotic) waters, indeed.
  • 6 weeks 4 of 25
    6 weeks
    Can I get an "Amen!"
  • 6 weeks 5 of 25
    6 weeks
    Is no place sacred?
  • 7 weeks 6 of 25
    7 weeks
    Oh, so you can name him in the womb? Cool.
  • 10 weeks 7 of 25
    10 weeks
    Enjoy it while it lasts.
  • 11 weeks 8 of 25
    11 weeks
    Just quit it with the "we" crap, k?
  • 13 weeks (girl) 9 of 25
    13 weeks (girl)
    Same goes for Diamond and Destiny, by the way.
  • 14 weeks 10 of 25
    14 weeks
    That may be the case, but the burrito will continue to receive the blame for many, many weeks to come.
  • 16 weeks 11 of 25
    16 weeks
    Ditto for that Lana Del Ray, btw. Tell me again how she got on SNL?
  • 18 weeks 12 of 25
    18 weeks
    By the way, when I finally exit this place, tell the random strangers not to touch me, too, k? Thanks.
  • 20 weeks 13 of 25
    20 weeks
    I'm not blaming my weird dreams on your midnight snacks, but maybe fewer jalapeños after 8pm?
  • 20 weeks 14 of 25
    20 weeks
    Whoops, sorry!
  • 21 weeks 15 of 25
    21 weeks
    Although if you tell me my trust fund is equal to Kim's net worth, that'd be fine by me.
  • 21 weeks 16 of 25
    21 weeks
    I'd better get a supersized push present.
  • 22 weeks 17 of 25
    22 weeks
    Nice work if you can get it.
  • 23 weeks 18 of 25
    23 weeks
    Future philosophy major.
  • 24 weeks (girl) 19 of 25
    24 weeks (girl)
    Inappropriate? Maybe. But you know I know what you're thinking, right?
  • 25 weeks (boy) 20 of 25
    25 weeks (boy)
    Don't worry; I'm working through it.
  • 28 weeks 21 of 25
    28 weeks
    Sounds like another Bill Carter book waiting to happen.
  • 30 weeks 22 of 25
    30 weeks
    I'll be available on a consulting basis in about 10 weeks, by the way, if you want to put a meeting on the books.
  • 31 weeks 23 of 25
    31 weeks
    You win some you lose some.
  • 33 weeks 24 of 25
    33 weeks
    Get used to it.
  • Past due 25 of 25
    Past due
    I'll wait until he's gone. All I have is time.

All images courtesy of Limbua.com

Source: Media Bistro

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