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25 Things I Hope My Daughter Never Does from the Major to the Mundane

There were many things that I anticipated when having a baby girl. I knew I’d sleep less, I knew I’d be gifted with a variety of soiled diapers and I had a feeling that there would be pink, lots and lots of pink. But I did not foresee that along with the joy and happiness of being a mom, there would be a whole plethora of fear: stomach churning, nightmare producing, paranoid mind-tripping fear.

There is the fear that I wouldn’t be a “good enough” mom, fear that we won’t be able to give this precious little girl the best life we could, but those two were manageable, they were things we could control.  We could read books, blogs and educate ourselves by listening to the experts and our guts. But my biggest fears? The things that she might do on her own, independent of our parental control or if she flew Kamikaze style against the winds of our guidance.  But am I alone in delving into the deep end of a pool of dark thoughts of how my child could grow up and not make good choices? Hells no. We all have them and they are especially prevalent to parents of little girls.

With the help of some other fearful parents here are 25 things we hope our daughters never do from the mundane to the monumental.

What would you add to the list?


  • Do Drugs 1 of 25
    Do Drugs
    Odds are our children will be offered drugs at some point. According to the New York Times about 40 percent of high school students have tried marijuana. It may be totally unrealistic to believe your baby won't grow up to experiment with some sort of drug, which is why I plan on making sure my daughter and I discuss the dangers of all drugs, even "softer" drugs like marijuana. And here is hoping none of our kids choose to try drugs like heroin, cocaine or "Bath Salts."
  • To Become a Teen Mom 2 of 25
    To Become a Teen Mom
    Besides not wanting be a young grandma, I would not want my daughter to miss out on all those years where she could have the opportunity to travel, experience the world, and define who she is before being responsible for another human being.
    Source: Wikipedia
  • Vote Republican 3 of 25
    Vote Republican
    …or vote Democrat; it just depends on the political climate of your home. In our family, we would be totally aghast if our daughter opted to become a Republican. It's part of our family culture like Taco Tuesday and how we celebrate Christmas. Although we hope that she embraces our beliefs, we would want her to choose on her own. People are passionate about politics and see it as part of their morals, or part of one's core belief system. If your child goes totally against your beliefs, then that next Thanksgiving could be a bit uncomfortable.
  • Get a Neck Tattoo 4 of 25
    Get a Neck Tattoo
    A heavily tattooed friend of mine has a great nickname for ink on one's neck. He calls it the $24,000 tattoo, because odds are you won't earn more than $24,000 a year. Now this is not supported by any data or facts, but how many CEOs do you see with "Forever" tattooed on their neck? If my daughter did opt to get a tattoo, I would hope she would get one that she would not regret and one that she could wear in any profession. I would not want a misplaced tattoo to limit her.
  • Listen to Really Bad Music 5 of 25
    Listen to Really Bad Music
    We take music very seriously in our house and our daughter's musical education started at an early age. If she grew up and listened and loved really bad music, well we would feel like we failed.
  • Become a Stripper…or Worse 6 of 25
    Become a Stripper…or Worse
    On occasion I'll see a prostitute on a street corner and think to myself, "she was once somebody's baby." I'll start to think about the journey that took her from birth to selling her body and it fills me with sadness. But prostitution is an extreme and in most cases the women come from damaged and difficult backgrounds. And while some are fine with stripping, saying that it is "female empowerment," I still think that it is exploitive. I want my daughter to use her mind, not her body, for her career.
  • Steals Her Best Friends Boyfriend 7 of 25
    Steals Her Best Friends Boyfriend
    I want my daughter to be a good friend, one that is respectful, kind and caring. I do not want to breed a boyfriend stealer. Trust is a big part of friendship; betraying a loved one, be it a friend or family member, is a moral no-no and I could only hope I raise my daughter better than that.
  • Take Candy From Strangers 8 of 25
    Take Candy From Strangers
    Although I wish I could be following my daughter not unlike a hawk to make sure she doesn't do anything foolish, that is not real life. But there are basic warnings that I hope stay with her forever, such as looking both ways before crossing the street and not taking candy from strangers. Well, except on Halloween, then we just let that rule go by the wayside.
  • Quit School 9 of 25
    Quit School
    The power of education cannot be underestimated. Although dropout rates are getting lower each year (in 2010 it was at 7.4% compared to 12.1% in 1990), but it is very much a problem. I would never want my daughter to not see education as priority during her school age/ collage age years. There are plenty of college drop outs for instance that have done amazing well - like Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg for example- but they are not the norm. Just last month a study came out that said that college graduates make 84% more than high school graduates. Now, that is a very good reason to stay in school.
  • Pretend Shes Someone Shes Not 10 of 25
    Pretend Shes Someone Shes Not
    One of the big things I want to instill in my daughter is to be proud of who she is. To be true to herself and her beliefs and to have her actions reflect her true self.
  • Lie to Me, a Lot 11 of 25
    Lie to Me, a Lot
    I know that the truth will be bent and broken throughout this life journey that I am taking with my child. Lying is just part of what kids do. According to a study cited by Behavior Advisor, "4 year olds lied about once every two hours. Six year olds lied about once per hour. 96% of all kids told frequent lies in their homes." But there is a difference between little white lies and ones that can be destructive. I hope that my daughter doesn't see me a sucker and fill our conversations with a series of untruths.
  • Smoke 12 of 25
    Smoke
    Smoking is dumb. There is no good reason to start. Deciding to try cigarettes and subsequently getting hooked is poor judgment, pure and simple. We've told our daughter from a young age that smoking is bad; hopefully getting hooked on nicotine won't be on her "rebelling against her parents" list.
  • Become the Mean Girl 13 of 25
    Become the Mean Girl
    You know that mean girl? Well, I hope that's not your daughter, and I hope it isn't mine either. But from the schoolyard to the boardroom, there are examples of the "mean girl" or "queen bee." Generally this behavior is reserved for the high school and middle school set. The Washington Post mentions a thesis by Amanda Judson, a senior at Union College in Upstate New York, "Indirect aggression was less acceptable to older women because it was no longer the norm," she wrote. "Seniors outgrow this behavior or at least have the ability to recognize it as juvenile." So if my girl or your girl chooses to be a "mean girl," at least it could be temporary.
  • Date a Jerk 14 of 25
    Date a Jerk
    The thought that my little girl will grow up and date is scary enough to think about, but the idea that she could fall for a total jerk is even scarier. You can't select who your children date and fall in love with, but hopefully you'll give them enough good judgment to select a warm, caring, wonderful person as their mate or date.
  • Sign on to a Job She Hates 15 of 25
    Sign on to a Job She Hates
    Albert Schweitzer once said: "Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." Amen. It would break my heart if my daughter, who I spent so many hours reading to, educating and raising, choose to be stuck in a job she hated.
  • Forget to Floss 16 of 25
    Forget to Floss
    Currently I am undergoing a whole slew of dental procedures, including deep cleaning, root canals, and even crowns. It isn't just expensive and time consuming, but it is painful. If only I had taken better care of my teeth when I was younger, I wouldn't be in this dental dilemma. A lesson learned and now I'm being even more diligent in my daughter's dental care. Let's hope she chooses to continue it.
  • Hate Her Body 17 of 25
    Hate Her Body
    There is a ridiculous amount of unhealthy and unrealistic body image messaging out there, leading some girls to engage in destructive behavior from bulimia to starving themselves. Giving your child a healthy self-image and not to measure themselves up against some crazy skinny ideal is a great gift to bestow upon them. Choosing to ignore these negative body image messages may be hard, but as Common Sense Media says, "self-worth shouldn't be determined by what kids see in the media."
  • To Become Unenthusiastic 18 of 25
    To Become Unenthusiastic
    I love enthusiasm. It is the mother of invention and innovation. Kids have oodles of enthusiasm but it is something that sometimes fades with age. As author Seymour Simon once said, "I'm more interested in arousing enthusiasm in kids than in teaching the facts. The facts may change, but that enthusiasm for exploring the world will remain with them the rest of their lives." And no one can ever take away her enthusiasm.
  • To Become Lazy 19 of 25
    To Become Lazy
    One of my pet peeves is laziness. But I'm someone who is always doing three things at once. To just sit around doing nothing, in excess, is completely foreign to me. It is one thing to sit and relax with a book or a movie, but if being lazy interferes with her studies, her career or her life, well I would feel like I failed.
  • Says She Hates Me and Means It 20 of 25
    Says She Hates Me and Means It
    There will come a day, probably when she is a teenager, that she will be so mad at me that my daughter will scream out "I hate you!" perhaps followed with a "I wish I had never been born!" But when a teen utters those statements it's usually in the heat of the moment and they don't actually mean it. If my daughter said those words to me and truly believed them, it would break my heart.
  • Join a Wacky Religion or Cult 21 of 25
    Join a Wacky Religion or Cult
    Our daughter may find some faith or religion that speaks to her soul, but I hope that if she does that it is an organization that is on the up and up. I would prefer that she won't have to shave her head, dance with poisonous snakes or sell all her worldly belonging to belong to whatever spiritual gang she believes in.
  • Drink 5 Long Island Ice Teas in a Row 22 of 25
    Drink 5 Long Island Ice Teas in a Row
    Drinking is a national pastime, especially with the younger set. According to government studies, "46 percent of young adults (12.4 million) engaged in drinking that exceeded the recommended daily limits" and that, "young adults are especially likely to binge drink and to drink heavily." Binge drinking, or just getting totally wasted, doesn't just lead to a bad hangover, but can lead to bad decisions, alcohol poisoning, and even death. Moderation, as in all things, is the key.
  • Buy a PC 23 of 25
    Buy a PC
    We are a Mac family. Always have been, always will be. It may be a simple thing but if she were to go PC, well it would just be weird. Plus sharing files and programs may become harder to do.
  • Doesn’t Recycle 24 of 25
    Doesn't Recycle
    I want to make sure that my daughter not just respects herself, her friends, and her family but that she also respects our planet. We've instilled recycling (and even composting) habits at a young age, but if she just carelessly started throwing cans and bottles into garbage can destined for the landfill, well it would be very sad indeed.
  • To Not Love Me or Not Realize How Much She Is Loved 25 of 25
    To Not Love Me or Not Realize How Much She Is Loved
    I've known several women who do not have a deep love for their mothers. They deal with them, they tolerate them, they negotiate with them, but they do not love them as much as they could (or perhaps should). And then there are others who don't realize how much their mothers love them, for whatever reason. One cannot choose to love a person or not, but they can choose to see the good in someone and the good in themselves. I hope to always show my daughter plenty of love and support and hopefully this and all the other 24 things I covered won't happen. Here's to hoping my love will lead her to make good choices.
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Photo Source: istockphoto
Read more Sunny Chanel on Famecrawler right here.
Read more Sunny Chanel on Strollerderby right here.


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