Categories

25 Ways Not to Celebrate Hanukkah, According to Etsy

Hanukkah fails

Oy vey

Hanukkah is a pretty basic commemoration of a Maccabean revolt in the second century BCE, which is observed over the course of eight days and nights.

And yet, some of the craftspeople on Etsy just seem to want to make it more complicated than it needs to be. Or not as attractive as it might be. Or just plain Christmas-y.

Here are 25 artisans who don’t quite seem to understand the story, meaning, and significance of Hanukkah:

nggallery id=’128128′

  • Happy Chronikka Marijuana Holiday Sweatshirt 1 of 25
    Happy Chronikka Marijuana Holiday Sweatshirt
    For Jews in Colorado and Washington only.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Fancy Boot Menorah 2 of 25
    Fancy Boot Menorah
    Little-Known Hanukkah Fact #1: Fancy boots are an integral part of the story — after the oil but before the Maccabees.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Robots Learn About Hanukkah Coloring Book 3 of 25
    Robots Learn About Hanukkah Coloring Book
    The robots factor into the story after the Maccabees.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Holiday Hairless Cats Greeting Cards 4 of 25
    Holiday Hairless Cats Greeting Cards
    Because the cats aren't ugly enough, they needed to be dressed in these sweaters?
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Blue & White Houndstooth and Menorah Hanukkah Picture Frame 5 of 25
    Blue & White Houndstooth and Menorah Hanukkah Picture Frame
    Were all eight presents really that bad?
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Hanukkah Bib 6 of 25
    Hanukkah Bib
    The doll used in the promotional photo was all part of the strategy to make the bib look cuter.
    Congratulations. It worked.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Dreidel Pet Hat 7 of 25
    Dreidel Pet Hat
    Because pugs don't suffer enough humiliation with their noses.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Grateful Dead Star of David Glass Hanukkah Decoration Ornament 8 of 25
    Grateful Dead Star of David Glass Hanukkah Decoration Ornament
    It's not wrong just because Jerry Garcia wasn't Jewish.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Hanukkah Beautiful Ugly Sweater 9 of 25
    Hanukkah Beautiful Ugly Sweater
    Brought to you by the folks at Atari.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Ugly Christmas Sweater 10 of 25
    Ugly Christmas Sweater
    Antisemitism at its finest.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Hanukkah Hand-Knitted Dog Sweater 11 of 25
    Hanukkah Hand-Knitted Dog Sweater
    Why should humans be the only ones forced to wear ugly holiday sweaters?
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Baby Ugly Hanukkah Sweater Vest 12 of 25
    Baby Ugly Hanukkah Sweater Vest
    Adult-and-dog-ugly-holiday-sweater wearers love company.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Christmas Dog Diaper 13 of 25
    Christmas Dog Diaper
    Like it isn't undignified enough to be a dog wearing a diaper.
    Now they have to wear holiday-themed diapers?
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Hanukkah Stocking 14 of 25
    Hanukkah Stocking
    Chock full of holiday confusion.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Latke the Hanukkah Snowman 15 of 25
    Latke the Hanukkah Snowman
    Since Frosty is nondenominational, it seems as there isn't actually a need for a Jewish-specific snowman.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Hanukkah Harry 16 of 25
    Hanukkah Harry
    If Judah Maccabee isn't enough of a hero for you, Hanukkah Harry seems like the logical second choice to lead a revolt.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Happy Hanukkah Reusable Cloth Pantyliner Pad 17 of 25
    Happy Hanukkah Reusable Cloth Pantyliner Pad
    Good for eight days.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Hanukkah Snow Flake Harness Dress 18 of 25
    Hanukkah Snow Flake Harness Dress
    Little-Known Hanukkah Fact #2: There are Hanukkah-specific snowflakes.
    Kosher, of course.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Ugly Hanukkah Sweater Cookie Gift Set 19 of 25
    Ugly Hanukkah Sweater Cookie Gift Set
    Here's hoping they taste better than they look.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Happy Chanukah Banner Card 20 of 25
    Happy Chanukah Banner Card
    Be happy like the holiday, not the girl on the card.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Antique Die-Cut Embossed and Gilded Dennison’s Christmas Menorah Seals 21 of 25
    Antique Die-Cut Embossed and Gilded Dennison's Christmas Menorah Seals
    Psst . . . Menorahs have nine candles.
    Oh, and they have nothing to do with the story of Christmas.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Antique Tree Ornament Santa-in-Star Vintage Collectible Christmas or Hanukkah Decoration 22 of 25
    Antique Tree Ornament Santa-in-Star Vintage Collectible Christmas or Hanukkah Decoration
    It's fine if you want to make this ornament for Christians or Jews, but if it's for the latter, it needs two more points on it.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Hanukkah Greeting Cards 23 of 25
    Hanukkah Greeting Cards
    If you can't spell it, don't celebrate it.
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • 1st Hanukkah 2012 Ornament Menorah 24 of 25
    1st Hanukkah 2012 Ornament Menorah
    If it involves an ornament, it's just not part of Hanukkah.
    Better luck with the 2nd Hanukkah?
    If you like this, you can buy it here
  • Hanukkah Blue Felted Acorn Ornaments 25 of 25
    Hanukkah Blue Felted Acorn Ornaments
    Little-Known Hanukkah Fact #3: If you run out of latkes, acorns are always an acceptable substitution.
    If you like this, you can buy it here

More from Meredith on Babble’s Mom blog:

Read (even) more from Meredith at Babble’s Toddler blog, follow her on Twitter, and check out her weekly syndicated newspaper column at MeredithCarroll.com

FacebookTwitterGoogle+TumblrPinterest
Tagged as: ,

Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, profile photo and other personal information you make public on Facebook (e.g., school, work, current city, age) will appear with your comment. Learn More.

FacebookTwitterGoogle+TumblrPinterest