If you read my post on the reasons I am thankful for a second chance at marriage you are well aware that for me this is round two. I walked away from my first marriage with a lot of lessons learned. In reading a recent article from Your Tango some of them were reiterated. The article was written by Your Tango expert Judith Tutin and it looks at post divorce principles. The principles can be helpful for those who are dating after divorce as well as those who are in a serious relationship post divorce. The purpose of these principles is to help one be happier and avoid mistakes going forward. Here are three of the principles identified by Tutin:
1. Learn who you are. According to Tutin it is important for individuals to “figure out” who they are. She also notes being yourself as an important aspect of this particular principle. “Who you are in a relationship is not always the same as who you are solo.” Being single provides an opportunity for increased self reflection in addition to an opportunity to work toward being the person you desire to be.
2. “A relationship should not feel like it’s killing you.” While most of us are well aware that relationships do require work the amount of work should be taken into account. It is important that both parties in the relationship are invested in it. According to Tutin it is likely you will be miserable if you are the one who is “trying to do it all” when it comes to your relationship.
3. Don’t try to convince yourself that something is right when you know it’s wrong. Tutin relates this to multiple areas including money and security. She notes that a relationship is “doomed” when one makes the mistake of fooling his or herself.
For some additional expert insight from Tutin including 7 more principles visit Your Tango. What are your thoughts on these post divorce principles? Do you have any you would add?
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