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5 Really Bad Reasons To Have A Large Family (And One Good One)

As a mom of 5, I’ve heard a lot of speculation about why anyone would want to have a big family. Most of the theories people come up with make no sense to me, and yet I keep seeing them brought up again and again.

So just in case you’re considering having a bunch of kids, you might want to make sure you’re NOT doing it for the following five reasons:

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  • Youre angling for your own reality show 1 of 6
    Youre angling for your own reality show
    Sure, the Duggars and Jon & Kate made it look easy: have a bunch of kids better yet, a bunch all at once and soon you'll be gracing the cover of every tabloid. But the big family angle has been done every which way, so you'll have to get really creative to get the networks' attention. Like, maybe give birth to eighteen kids at once while living in outer space.
  • To get your hands on more taxpayer dollars 2 of 6
    To get your hands on more taxpayer dollars
    So you've heard people ranting about the ignorant idiots who have a brood of kids just to collect more welfare and food stamps, and you thought, "That's how it's done? How do I get a piece of that action?" Yeah, right. Any idiot knows that even the fattest welfare checks don't come close to covering the expense and effort of raising kids. Next!
  • To show off 3 of 6
    To show off
    Sure, Angelina Jolie might look hot, stylish and pulled-together strolling around with her beautiful family. But you aren't Angelina Jolie. There are a lot cheaper and easier ways to show off, like buying a fancy convertible, yacht, or Tuscan villa.
  • You need a crew to work the farm and raise the babies 4 of 6
    You need a crew to work the farm and raise the babies
    This might have been a reasonable idea in 1850, but these days there are these things called "child labor laws" and "compulsory education" and "Little League" that make it difficult to squeeze enough work out of your kids' calloused little hands without attracting the attention of the authorities to make this a feasible plan. Do, however, make them take out the trash and empty the dishwasher.
  • For an ego boost 5 of 6
    For an ego boost
    There are few things more humbling than seeing your own worst characteristics come to life via one of your children. And there's probably nothing more humbling than having to go on the Today Show and admit that you can't really handle your brood. So if you're thinking about having kids to boost your self-esteem, you should probably try therapy first.
  • That brings us to the one GOOD reason: 6 of 6
    That brings us to the one GOOD reason:
    Because you see kids as more of a blessing than a burden, don't mind extra noise and mess, and are willing to put in serious time to raise a brood of them. Okay, so that's three reasons, but you get the idea. Big families are great - for all the RIGHT reasons.

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