The love experts at YourTango note that “having the occasional heated debate between you and your significant other is healthy,” but “when these fights cross into full-blown blow-ups, the argument can quickly get out of hand.” Here are the top 5 ways you can be sure when you and your partner are fighting, you’re fighting in a productive way, not a destructive one:
1. Know when to make an exit. “Remove yourself from a situation you can’t handle. If you can’t gracefully leave the room, gracefully change the topic,” say experts. And do so well before your anger level is at 10.
2. Breathe deeply. “Clear the air emotionally by clearing the physical air in your lungs,” YourTango suggests. Cleansing breaths are the key to a happy life!
3. Smile. “Even if you have to force yourself,” say experts. Even a fake smile can “bring forth positive thoughts and feelings of gratitude or affection.”
4. Make agreements. “Re-launch the tough topic by agreeing (to) points made by your significant other,” YourTango says. Then be empathetic about what got you in the situation to begin with.
5. Talk through the problem calmly and effectively, listening to the other person’s point of view. Here’s an excellent tip: “Transition your sentences using the phrase “and at the same time” and not the word “but.” (For example, “And at the same time, my concern is … “) The word “and” is collaborative; “but” deletes whatever was said just before and consequently could knock you both back into adversarial hostile stances.”
For more on how to handle fights in a healthy way, visit YourTango.
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