7 For All MomkindLyz Lenz
7 jeans that fit and flatter your postpartum body 1 of 8
I spent the first three weeks of my daughter’s life in yoga pants and skirts until my mom, who believes that wearing yoga pants to the store is tantamount to using the American flag to wipe your baby’s bottom, intervened and took me shopping.
Even when you don’t have a baby, pants are a problem — finding the right fit, the right cut, the right price. It’s exhausting. Add in your mommy belly and leftover pregnancy thigh nubbins and, well, pants become a nightmare. But don’t despair, as my mom told me, “If scientists can build that Hadron Collider thing, then you can find some pants. So suck it up, and for mercy’s sake, put on some pants.”
Here are my 7 favorite pairs of pants for your post-partum booty, based on personal experience. And yes, it’s a worthy investment.
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Just because your mom shops at Chico’s doesn’t mean you should write them off. Those old ladies know how to look good without sacrificing comfort. I loved these jeans because they helped smooth out my FUPA without making me feel constricted or cutting into my belly. At $99, they're a little pricey; but at that price, you can get your dignity back. So worth it.
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I bought these jeans after frantically Googling “I just had a baby, and I need look decent in public.” Or something like that. The name of the jeans is a little off-putting, because nothing screams FAT PANTS like telling people that you bought jeans from “Miraclebody.” But for how good they made my thigh nubbins look, I wouldn’t care if the pants were named Justin Beiber. Isn’t a $128 investment worth feeling like a human being again?
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Even before baby, I kept a pair of jeans one size up from my usual for holiday emergencies, like eating too much pie and drinking too much booze. My go-to pair were always Gap’s 1969 Long and Lean Jeans. Needless to say, they’re also the perfect antidote to my post-baby body. The cut is a little high, so it helps smooth in all those wobbly bits, and in a dark wash to slim out my legs and flatter my hips. Also, they’re the only pants I could wear for six months that didn’t have a hint of spandex. $59.95 and you’ll have two needs met with one payment.
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I found these jeans after returning some unwanted baby onesies that read “Call my agent” and “Pretty Kitty.” Horrifying. So I used all that in-store credit on myself. While that may make me the worst mom ever, at least my butt looked good. Vera Wang jeans are surprisingly stretchy and forgiving. They wear well and are usually on sale. The low-rise cut is easy on the belly fat and the stretch accommodates your baby girth without too much skin spillage. $32.99, plus someone always has a Kohl’s coupon.
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When I finally skinnied myself out of these pants, I was a little sad. Their forgiving cut, straight legs, and trendily saggy butt seem designed with postpartum moms in mind. Pair them with an ironic t-shirt and you’ll change your mom drab into hipster fab. I’ll probably whip these out as maternity pants the next go 'round. Also, $24.99. Target, what would we do without you?
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I’m not going to lie, I’m considering getting pregnant again, just so I have an excuse to wear these pants. Colorful, stretchy, forgiving, trendy — they’re everything you want from a pant. And because they lack that I’ve-given-up-dressing-myself vibe of full-panel maternity pants, no one will ever suspect your little secret.
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7. Pajama Jeans
Okay, I know $39.95 seems like a lot to pay for glorified pajamas, but look at it this way: If you have to start your day at 4 am (and with a baby, you have to), you might as well pull on your pajama jeans, favorite cardigan, and hit the town. You don’t even have to take them off when you go to bed. Sure, donning Pajama Jeans means you’re one mom haircut away from not caring, but they’re so comfortable! So a little piece of your fashionista soul may die every time you pull them on, but did I mention that they’re comfortable?