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$750 Mil and Your Family: So, Tiger: Worth It?

By KJ Dell'Antonia |

This time last year, we saw Tiger Woods as a happily married man with a beautiful wife and family: a toddler, a baby. In a world of celebrity bad behavior, his was the rare happy family, and even people who didn’t care much about golf–like me–had him at least pegged as a good guy. Now, of course, he’s completely disgraced. His wasn’t just infidelity but cheating of the shoddiest kind. He’s tabloid and joke fodder, and gossip sites ( I favor the Hollywood Gossip today) are reporting that his divorce settlement will be the highest in any celebrity divorce, ever: $750 million. He’ll share “legal” custody of his now 3- and 1-year-old children, but his ex-wife will have them full time. He can never bring any other women around the kids.

And his soon-to-be-ex wife, Elin, can never, ever speak publicly about the events surrounding their divorce. No interviews. No TV. No books. Not now, not ever (even after Tiger’s death). Why? Because Tiger Woods knows that more than anything else: more than the cheating, the texting, the betrayal–what made people angry about his actions was how thoroughly he hid what now appears to be his true self. The only remaining mystery about him is whether he was able to hide from his wife and family as well. Spill that–either way–and while he will probably always be able to bring off a golf comeback, a personal comeback of the kind he seems to crave seems impossible. The only way he can replace a mask of bland public behavior is by preventing the public from ever finding out how deep his deception did or didn’t go.

Over on Famecrawler, when the details of the probably divorce settlement first began to appear, whether Elin would be right to accept confidentiality as a part of the deal was a topic of hot debate. In general, silence seems to benefit the women in these cases–for example, neither Elizabeth Edwards nor Rielle Hunter is looking particularly appealing now that they’ve opened up. And silence is bound to be better for the kids, who may have to read their father’s texts one day (I was going to quote one, but the idea of a kid reading any of them about her father makes my skin crawl…but I think I must. How does “I want to treat you rough, throw you around, spank and slap you” strike you as reading for, say, a web-savvy 9-year-old?) but can at least be spared their mother’s emotional reaction until she wants to give it to them face-to-face.

But oh, it’s so hard to imagine giving up that particular revenge. And here’s a final question: does the confidentiality cover the kids, too? Because someday, you can imagine that one or the other might want to have a say.

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About KJ Dell'Antonia

kjda

KJ Dell'Antonia

KJ Dell'Antonia is a regular contributor to Slate's DoubleX, a contributing editor for Kiwi Magazine and the co-author of Reading with Babies, Toddlers and Twos. She lives in New Hampshire with four kids, two dogs, one husband and a bad coffee habit and blogs about family bonds, balance, and blend at RaisingDevils.com.

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9 thoughts on “$750 Mil and Your Family: So, Tiger: Worth It?

  1. bob says:

    It can’t cover the kids. They aren’t party to a settlement contract, and they’re also minors.

  2. Cleft says:

    Does the agreeement allow Elin to bring her future boyfriends around the kids? Does it allow Tiger to speaking publicly since he might need the money from a book or movie deal …

  3. Stacie says:

    ” He can never bring any other women around the kids.” Ever? Not in 10 years? Not when the kids are adults? Not if he remarries?

  4. drew says:

    she ain’t getting $750 million!

  5. KJ Dell'Antonia says:

    I wish I could say, who’d marry the guy? But you know someone would. The stuff about never bringing any other women around the kids probably should have been in quotes, because those are good questions, and I don’t know–all from the Hollywood Gossip site, but it’s all been reported in some more legit media, too. I wondered the same thing–really? Ever? I suppose for one never ever ever clause–the confidentiality–you can score another. How can they be enforced? TIger has the $$, Elin has the kids, I guess. ANd once they;re adults, all bets are off. She could probably invest wisely enough to nullify her need to keep up her end of the deal in a few years, too. All that’s really clear is that these are unhappy people, and unlucky kids–I don’t care how much money they have.

  6. KJ Dell'Antonia says:

    Oh, and Bob, good point. It was pretty much rhetorical, but obviously not. He’ll just have to contract with them separately later…

  7. Carmen says:

    CThis divorce settlement amount is well deserved since it may be for a complete package for both, Elin and the children and Tiger is demanding from Elin a lifetime of silence. It is very wise of Elin to demand that Tiger never expose their children to any future female companions ”unless he is married to said person.” I commend Elin for being a caring and loving mother and for having her priorities right. Tiger is the one who caused irreparable damage to the marriage and the dissolution of the family unit with his adulterous, reckless and irresponsible behavior. Tiger, reportedly, had unprotected sex with multiple promiscuous partners, potentially exposing Elin to life threatening conditions such as STD, HIV, hepatitis, herpes, uterine cancer, etc. Some of these conditions can be dormant and could take years to show up. Tiger Woods humiliated his family in front of the world causing them enough hurt, pain and suffering that will scar them for the rest of their lives! Tiger Woods used his wife and children to earn millions projecting a false image of integrity as a devoted husband and family man, while living a sordid life in private. I applaud Elin for her courage, dignity and poise during this horrid ordeal and wish her and her precious children all the best for the future!!!
    This divorce settlement amount is well deserved since it may be for a complete package for both, Elin and the children and Tiger is demanding from Elin a lifetime of silence. It is very wise of Elin to demand that Tiger never expose their children to any future female companions ”unless he is married to said person.” I commend Elin for being a caring and loving mother and for having her priorities right. Tiger is the one who caused irreparable damage to the marriage and the dissolution of the family unit with his adulterous, reckless and irresponsible behavior. Tiger, reportedly, had unprotected sex with multiple promiscuous partners, potentially exposing Elin to life threatening conditions such as STD, HIV, hepatitis, herpes, uterine cancer, etc. Some of these conditions can be dormant and could take years to show up. Tiger Woods humiliated his family in front of the world causing them enough hurt, pain and suffering that will scar them for the rest of their lives! Tiger Woods used his wife and children to earn millions projecting a false image of integrity as a devoted husband and family man, while living a sordid life in private. I applaud Elin for her courage, dignity and poise during this horrid ordeal and wish her and her precious children all the best for the future!!!

    This divorce settlement amount is well deserved since it may be for a complete package for both, Elin and the children and Tiger is demanding from Elin a lifetime of silence. It is very wise of Elin to demand that Tiger never expose their children to any future female companions ”unless he is married to said person.” I commend Elin for being a caring and loving mother and for having her priorities right. Tiger is the one who caused irreparable damage to the marriage and the dissolution of the family unit with his adulterous, reckless and irresponsible behavior. Tiger, reportedly, had unprotected sex with multiple promiscuous partners, potentially exposing Elin to life threatening conditions such as STD, HIV, hepatitis, herpes, uterine cancer, etc. Some of these conditions can be dormant and could take years to show up. Tiger Woods humiliated his family in front of the world causing them enough hurt, pain and suffering that will scar them for the rest of their lives! Tiger Woods used his wife and children to earn millions projecting a false image of integrity as a devoted husband and family man, while living a sordid life in private. I applaud Elin for her courage, dignity and poise during this horrid ordeal and wish her and her precious children all the best for the future!!!

    It is very wise of Elin to demand that Tiger never expose their children to any future female companions ”unless he is married to said person.” I commend Elin for being a caring and loving mother and for having her priorities right. Her children need her most and depend on her for their protection, safety and wellbeing. Elin is the parent that has been there for these children all along since Tiger has been basically an absentee father. There seems to be very little evidence of Tiger’s involvement with the children’s day to day activities when he was home. Even when he was home, Tiger appears to spend a lot of his free time going to bars with his friends to pick up bimbos for sex. Soooo, let’s see how would Tiger do, this time, as a father! Too bad that Elin is not requiring Tiger to go to parenting classes! If Tiger fails to comply with this demand, or to care for the children’s wellbeing, Elin can always go back to Court and keep the children away from him!

  8. Alfonso says:

    There is so much more to the Tiger Woods scandal than the public knows that Tiger is prepared to pay Elin ANYTHING she asks for in order to keep her quiet. Don’t you wonder what else there is to hide? Sex with men? PED’s? Illegal drug abuse? STD’s? Herpes? Syphilis? Hepatitis? It has got to HUGE if he is willing to pay hundreds of millions of dollars to her when the prenp only states 10 million. Wish we couold hear Elin’s side of the story. It must be mind boggling if it has such a hold over Tiger.

  9. [...] To be sure, my daughter is a very gifted dancer, and I adore watching her float and bounce around the house like the natural she is.  (As you can see from these videos taken last fall, she’s developed two distinct techniques: ”ballet moves” and “rock-and-roll moves.”  On a side note, I can’t believe how much she’s matured since then!)  It’s not that I don’t want to nurture her love of dance, it’s precisely because I want her to continue to love dancing that I haven’t enrolled her in structured class.  I realize Tiger Woods wouldn’t be Tiger Woods were he not trained from age 2 how to be the world’s best golfer, but as we all know, his athletic prowess and (perhaps deserved) grandiose sense of self has lead to other problems. [...]

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