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8 Epic Hanukkah FAILS (A Miracle for Each Night)

Hanukkah card

Oy, indeed

While most people recognize Hanukkah as the Festival of Lights and understand it’s a holiday celebrating the miracle of the oil that burned for eight days at the time of the Maccabean Revolt hundreds and hundreds of years ago, other people have different ideas about it.

Those others people are wrong. Like, spectacularly so.

Check out these 8 miraculously spectacular Hanukkah fails:

 

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  • Hanukkah Fairy 1 of 8
    Hanukkah Fairy
    First of all, this fairy looks suspiciously like Kris Kringle. Second, there are no fairies in the story of Hanukkah. Third, see Nos. 1 and 2.
  • Hanukkah Tree Topper 2 of 8
    Hanukkah Tree Topper
    Question: What part of a Christmas tree is supposed to be about Hanukkah?
    Answer: No part. That's why it's called a Christmas tree.
  • Hanukkah Stockings 3 of 8
    Hanukkah Stockings
    You can hang these stockings by the chimney with care, but if you really cared, you wouldn't be celebrating Christmas at all, you bad Jew, you.
  • Santa Dreidl 4 of 8
    Santa Dreidl
    Is this really what Santa does in his free time? Can he not leave one game to just the Jews? Sheesh.
  • Hanukkah Sweater 5 of 8
    Hanukkah Sweater
    The lack of bad sweaters used to one of the things Hanukkah lorded over Christmas. Not anymore.
  • Nice Jewish Girls 6 of 8
    Nice Jewish Girls
    If they wanted to sell Hanukkah porn greeting cards, couldn't they have at least dressed up (or down, as appears to be the case) a pair of hot shiksas to fry the hot latkes instead?
  • Hanukkah Hello Kitty 7 of 8
    Hanukkah Hello Kitty
    It's not like every Japanese person is necessarily a Buddhist or Shintoist. But what are the chances that the country's most famous feline is actually a Jew?
  • Hanukkah Ham 8 of 8
    Hanukkah Ham
    If you know of a better oxymoron raise your hand. Oh, that's right. There is not one.

Main Image: Etsy.com

Follow Meredith Carroll on Twitter.

 

 

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