Categories

9 Things Not to Say to a New Mom in her 30s

thirtysomething

Some things are better left unsaid...to a new, thirtysomething mom

I never could have become a first-time mom when I was in my 20s. I was still very much a baby in so many ways, and I shudder at the idea of my 20-something-self handling something even more needy than I was.

I’m also glad I birthed my kids before I hit 40. I’m already tired—nay, exhausted— and 40 is still a few years off.

No, becoming a mom in my 30s was the right fit for me. But I can still do without some of the comments I receive. You know, the things people say to new moms in their 30s that make our eyes glaze over, or make us want to throw some glaze (and not the good, donut-covering kind) in the eyes of the people who say them. Stuff like this (that people say to moms in their 30s, but really, really shouldn’t):

 

nggallery id=’124006′

  • Did you have those bags under your eyes before you had kids? 1 of 9
    Did you have those bags under your eyes before you had kids?
    I don't know, Dr. 90210, what do you think? That I might have born with one of those rare and sad diseases showcased on the Discovery channel that rendered me looking like I was 94 when I was actually just starting out in the sandbox?
    My kids make me look tired, OK? Know why? Because I am tired. I'm guessing having young kids at any age will pretty much do that to you. As will just being in your 30s sometimes.
    But thanks for asking.
    Photo credit: iStock
  • Have you thought about Botox? 2 of 9
    Have you thought about Botox?
    Yes, I've thought about Botox.
    I've also given equal thought to running away and joining the circus so I can be among freaks like me with lots and lots of wrinkles on my forehead, not to mention the crinkly lines I'm noticing forming around my eyes as I'm squinting at you with bewilderment for having an awful lot of nerve.
    Photo credit: iStock
  • Are you dreading the big 4-0? 3 of 9
    Are you dreading the big 4-0?
    I'm dreading standing here and talking to you for another second. Actually, standing here and talking to you for an entire extra second makes the prospect of turning 40 seem joyous.
    Are we there yet, 40?
    Photo credit: iStock
  • Did you have an amnio? 4 of 9
    Did you have an amnio?
    People I'm close with know whether I had an amnio. I actually think it's a pretty personal thing to discuss for a whole host of reasons. Like, I wouldn't ask you if you had a rectal exam at your last physical, although it does frequently occur to me that you very possibly have something up your butt.
    Photo credit: iStock
  • Is it weird that some of your kids friends have parents who are so much younger than you? 5 of 9
    Is it weird that some of your kids friends have parents who are so much younger than you?
    I don't know. Did you ask some of my kids' friends' parents if it's weird for them that some of their kids' friends' parents are so much older? Is one of us right or wrong or is there a better or worse place to be in this situation?
    Photo credit: iStock
  • Wow, when your kid is 38, youll be how old? 6 of 9
    Wow, when your kid is 38, youll be how old?
    I know tact isn't your strong suit, but I didn't realize you had a math disability, too.
    Photo credit: iStock
  • Were you worried youd never have kids? 7 of 9
    Were you worried youd never have kids?
    For what reason should I have been worried? Are you thinking my lady bits should be all shriveled up at the ripe old age of thirtysomething? Do we read such vastly different sources that you think I should have sounded the alarm about getting pregnant at the age that more and more women are getting pregnant these days?
    Photo credit: iStock
  • Were you so relieved to get pregnant at your age? 8 of 9
    Were you so relieved to get pregnant at your age?
    Last time I checked I'm not that 60-year-old pregnant woman who was on the cover of New York magazine. I had my kids in my 30s. While I get that being a first-time mom in her 30s is a lot older than a few generations ago, I'm not the same age as an average grandma (in this part of the world, anyway).
    Photo credit: New York magazine
  • What would you have done if you couldnt get pregnant? 9 of 9
    What would you have done if you couldnt get pregnant?
    Asked if I could adopt you. And then abandoned you after I did it. Just for fun. Because personal questions like that lead me to think you could use some alone time—you know, to think about why you ask such personal questions.
    Photo credit: iStock

Follow Meredith Carroll on Twitter

FacebookTwitterGoogle+TumblrPinterest
Tagged as:

Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, profile photo and other personal information you make public on Facebook (e.g., school, work, current city, age) will appear with your comment. Learn More.

FacebookTwitterGoogle+TumblrPinterest