You know that mom who only ever talks about her baby? The one who infiltrates your computer screen with endless baby pictures and constant status updates? Sure, the baby sharing was cute – at first. Then cuteness overload just became overload. So in an attempt to stop the mommy madness, you avoid her, unfriend her, and mark her as spam, but it all proves no match for her oversharing and overbearing quest for total mommy domination.
Friends, I’m talking about a Momzilla: an utterly intolerable mother completely consumed by her baby, otherwise known as a mom whose baby ate her brain. I should know; I used to be one.
• Did I share anything relating to the contents of my baby’s diaper today?
• Is excessive baby photo-bombing an everyday ritual?
• Does every sentence begin with, “My baby : “?
• Do I, or have I ever matched my clothes to my baby’s?
• Am I certain my baby is a genius, or at least totally smarter than everyone else’s?
• Am I having trouble making mommy friends?
• Do I consider myself an authority on motherhood now that I am a mother?
• Am I being unfriended or unfollowed on social media?
• Does my Facebook wall or Twitter feed resemble a baby diary kept in real time?
• If talking about, say, gas prices or the fall primetime TV lineup, do I find ways to bring the subject back to my baby?
Hear me out: No mother sets out to become a Momzilla. The Momzilla Effect is one of those unexplained phenomena that just sort of happens, like crop circles. In defense of the Momzilla, these obnoxious mommy tendencies usually begin innocently enough, often occurring as early as pregnancy.
When I was pregnant, everyone – strangers and woodland creatures alike – gathered around me, offering abundant smiles and courteous conversation about my pending arrival. It honestly wouldn’t have surprised me if they broke out into song and started dancing on rainbows in celebration for this new life growing inside me. Between baby showers and belly rubs, it seemed people couldn’t get enough of this baby business. The baby love-fest didn’t end there either; once my son was born we were treated like rock stars with our very own entourage of doting friends and family (at least in the beginning). So yeah, all the attention was enough to make a girl and her baby feel pretty darn special.
It’s important for victims of the Momzilla to understand that for new mothers, every coo, silly face, and sweet sigh from our newborn is enough to make the earth shift on its axis. There will never be another baby quite as special and perfect as our own (obviously) so it’s only natural for us to want to gush about our baby. A lot. Especially through social media, where it’s way too easy to share every hiccup and gurgle with family, friends, and followers. With baby in one hand and smart phone in the other, we share things like, “Baby on my boob. #nursingrocks,” and on and on : and on. Like most proud moms, I was pretty sure my Facebook fans, er, friends were totally digging the constant baby status updates, email blasts, and photo gallery invitations. I mean, everyone loves a new baby, right? Right?!
Wrong. While the good news is that the earth-shift thing is totally normal for new moms, the bad news is that the earth doesn’t shift for everyone else. As our new baby becomes less new and more baby, life goes on for our family and friends, while we moms remain intoxicated by baby’s love spell. The collective human race just isn’t interested in how many poops our precious offspring produced today (4, thank you very much). I was just as surprised to learn this as any other new mom. Sure, I didn’t necessarily love hearing minuscule details about anyone else’s baby, but my baby? That was different. That time he almost crawled but didn’t, or the other time he went 5 days without pooping – c’mon, that stuff was totally interesting! But was it interesting for everyone else? In hindsight, I’m thinking not so much.
Please try to understand, the Momzilla knows not what she does. In all fairness to baby love-drunk mamas, most of us are too consumed with motherhood to even question our own Momzilla tendencies. So while it’s true the world doesn’t care about every detail of our baby’s development, the proud Momzilla likely doesn’t realize it. But If we step back, listen to ourselves talk, and analyze our social media habits, we might just be able to keep ourselves from going overboard on the baby updates.
Moms, if you notice friends pulling away or no longer asking you what’s new, it’s probably because they already know everything – and then some. Your friends undoubtedly respect your new role as mom, but long before motherhood you were a person worth knowing in your own right. Remain connected and invested in the lives of those you care about, and remember: just because you added the title of mom to your resume, it shouldn’t mean you’re no longer a friend.
A healthy dose of moderation is all that’s required to keep those pesky Momzilla tendencies in check.Your baby is changing every single day, and while each change is worth celebrating, it may not be worth sharing. This time is precious, fleeting, and perhaps best of all, personal. There’s value in keeping those treasured baby moments locked away in your memory; they’re yours for the keeping.
Now go on proud mom, share the baby love – but remember to always leave your loved ones wanting more.