Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
The blogger was stirring, flour smeared on her blouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
but she has one more review to get on up there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of presents danced in their heads.
And mom at her computer, the keys going tap tap tap
glaring at her husband as he enjoys himself a nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
She sprang from her desk to see what was the matter.
She ran to the window, but tripped on some trash
Thinking NOW WHAT, FOR GOD’S SAKE,
I have potatoes to mash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to her wondering eyes should appear,
But a last minute UPS delivery, with a present for her.
The cute and young driver, so lively and quick,
Was her very own personal adorable St Nick.
And then, in a twinkling, she heard him say “oof,”
As he put a package on her porch, grinning like a goof.
She drew in her head, and was turning around,
When suddenly her husband leapt up with a bound.
He rushed right past her, stepping on her foot,
And quickly managed to grab the box of loot.
He ran inside hiding the box behind his back,
Grinning proudly, and not at all like a gift buying hack.
The mom blogger’s eyes filled with joy, feeling merry
and very excited, but still a bit leery.
She reached for the box, daring to dream,
Of the perfect Christmas present, topped with whipped cream.
He handed her the box, and she felt quite jolly
Tripping only slightly on a misplaced dolly.
His happy face beamed as he patted his belly,
Helping to settle that peanut butter and jelly.
She ripped open the box, loving her husband the elf,
And she laughed when she saw it, in spite of herself!
With a snick of a knife and and a twist of the wrap,
Her gift lay before her, and she let loose a gasp.
It was the perfect thing she needed for work,
It made her forgive all those times he was a jerk.
She sprang to his side, giving him a whistle,
And reached down below squeezing his thistle.
We all heard her exclaim, as they disappeared from sight,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”