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Are Computers Really Sexy? These 15 Vintage Ads Suggest They Once Were

Vintage computer ad

How your grandparents did computer porn

Anyone who’s ever played with a MacBook Air or an iPad knows that computers can be sexy. But then again, Apple products are in a category all their own.

Non-Apple products are generally not thought of as having sex appeal. Functional? Sure. Worth getting your panties in a bunch about? Hardly.

Still, in the dawn of the computer era, some folks got turned on by their PCs. Or at least some vintage computer ads suggest they did. Take a look and see what counted as sexy in the days before Apple dominated the computer porn industry (no, not that kind of porn) — and look for a very special cameo from Bill Gates as he attempts his very best Playgirl-ish pose):

 

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  • A PENRIL modem? 1 of 15
    A PENRIL modem?
    Admit it: At first glance, you thought that said something else.
  • Bill Gates = Sex Symbol? 2 of 15
    Bill Gates = Sex Symbol?
    Yes, if you find money sexy. Otherwise, not so much.
  • Is that a USB cord? 3 of 15
    Is that a USB cord?
    Or are you just happy to see me?
  • A Telex Operator? 4 of 15
    A Telex Operator?
    Is that like a sex phone operator?
  • Let’s Get Physical 5 of 15
    Let's Get Physical
    Let me hear your modem talk. Your modem talk.
  • Dream on, Geeks. 6 of 15
    Dream on, Geeks.
    Dream on.
  • The precursor to 900-numbers 7 of 15
    The precursor to 900-numbers
    Computer porn as experienced by your grandparents.
  • Because what’s sexier than . . . Science Industry Defense 8 of 15
    Because what's sexier than . . . Science Industry Defense
    Um, anything. That would be anything.
  • Older man, younger women, and a Commodore 9 of 15
    Older man, younger women, and a Commodore
    A classic sexy combination.
  • Matching romper and computer? 10 of 15
    Matching romper and computer?
    Because nothing is sexier than matching your mustard yellow clothes to your mustard yellow electronic devices.
  • Let Down Your Hair . . . 11 of 15
    Let Down Your Hair . . .
    . . . and get sexy with your microwave-looking computer device.
  • Oh, really? 12 of 15
    Oh, really?
    You mean you don't pay with paper money, right? Wink, wink.
  • That’s great that it’s fast and efficient 13 of 15
    That's great that it's fast and efficient
    But why does it look so angry?
  • The computer might get you into shape . . . 14 of 15
    The computer might get you into shape . . .
    . . . but will it help you with that headband? The leotard? Tights? How about those zebra panties and matching leg warmers?
  • That’s original, alright 15 of 15
    That's original, alright
    A naked man used in print and not in Playgirl magazine? That's one way to try and sell something.

All images used with permission from BuzzFeed

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