Babywearing: Are You Doing It Wrong? How You Carry Your Baby Could Scar(e) Them For Life.
How do you wear your baby? Facing "in" or "out"?
An avid babywearer, I took a babywearing safety class several years ago. A heated topic of discussion back then was the act of wearing your baby in a sling or carrier in a forward-facing position. Moms would say “baby loves it!” but safety experts argue that it can be overstimulating for the child, and it also throws off the caregiver’s center of balance. Carrying your baby or child like they are in your arms, facing you, is considered to be the preferred and safest method of babywearing. And one professor is even going so far as to say parents are cruel if they carry babies or push them in strollers facing forward, that it even causes trauma lasting into adulthood.
I think it makes some sense that a baby would fare better to look at mama’s face rather than the big scary world outside until they are old enough and interested in all the exciting things around them. And I know from experience that I don’t find forward-facing babies all that comfortable for me nor can I “wear” them with such ease as I am extra-cautious at how much easier it is for them to fall out when forward facing.
But, I have, however, changed my tune over the years. There was definitely a time when I couldn’t see past my die-hard seasoned babywearing agenda, I would poo poo Baby Bjorn-type carriers or anything that encouraged forward-facing only or didn’t look “traditional”. In the past, those baby carriers weren’t necessarily the best for mom and baby in overall comfort and safety, but, it was still a way to keep baby close and that is what is most important. And I must add that in recent years, most baby carrier manufacturers (including Baby Bjorn) continue to update their designs to be more comfortable for the baby and the wearer.
I’ve long sang the song that babywearing shouldn’t be done only to keep your hands free- it’s a beautiful way to bond, soothe, comfort, and nurture your baby as well as – for some- the only way their child will nap or stop crying, ever. It’s okay to wear your baby and do nothing else but enjoy that moment. And it’s also okay to get a ton of other things done while you’re doing it, too. Oh, and PS it’s totally okay if you don’t wear your baby at all.
If you’re holding your child close- in a carrier or not- you’ll know if they are becoming overstimulated. An observing mom can usually tell the signs and adjust activities accordingly. If you feel the best way to wear your baby is facing out, rock on with your babywearing self.
How do you wear or tote your baby?
For additional babywearing tips, questions, and finding the right carrier for you, check out Stephanie’s blog Adventures In Babywearing 2.0.
3 Beautiful & Creative Babywearing Videos Including a Babywearing Flash Mob!
*title edited for clarity/tongue in cheek!
I usually wear my 4 month old boys in a back carry. They can look around or bury their head in my neck. I also do a hip carry which I see as similar to a front facing carry. They let me know when they’re tired of it. A friend of mine just dipping her toe into BW says her 5.5 month old daughter complains bitterly if she’s not carried in her sling facing out. She’s curious about the whole world and wants to see! I don’t really understand the hoopla over it.
I wonder about the forward facing carry in the bjorn specifically. To me those kids look like they’re just dangling there and it seems like it would put a lot of pressure on their little pelvises. They’re basically suspended by the crotch and that doesn’t seem comfortable or healthy in the long term. I think the bonding concern is hooey, you can’t stop babies from bonding with their mommies or whoever else is loving and caring for them, I’m more concerned about their bodies in that position.
I had the awesome experience of being stopped on the street by a stranger the other day while my husband was wearing our five month old in a front-facing baby bjorn. The guy told us that our baby will have more anxiety because he’s carried this way sometimes. Hey, thanks, guy! Now we’re stressed out parents, which surely increases baby anxiety!
My husband carries him facing out, or I use an ergo carrier in the hip carry position these days. Since it’s been so hot, we’ve been avoiding the extra-sweaty tummy-to-tummy positions unless he’s sleeping.
I read somewhere (and I can’t find it now) that having the baby facing out is bad for their back and/or hips because of the way it tilts the pelvis. Not sure how true that is but it’s something to consider.
sorry, need to add clarification: I am referring to babies being in a baby carrier facing out.
Eden was the first baby I wore (up in the photo!!) I tried to face her out in other carriers, she did not prefer it. She loved, loved being in the ring sling facing me.
Now her baby brother is due this fall and he will be worn as well. I’m excited to see what position he will prefer in time!
I put my baby in a front carry with he moby once… but it looked really uncomfortable and not super stable so I haven’t tried it again since… maybe when he’s older. My baby loves to look around at all the things happening around him… I think the idea that he would be scarred by spending half an hour facing away from me is ridiculous. Too bad babies don’t have any way of communicating to us that they are unhappy… you know, like crying?
For us the bjorn was mostly an around the house carrier – my husband would put the kids in it when he got home from work and bounce and sing and spend lots of time in front of the mirror with them. It was nice bonding time for them all and as my kids are now happy, healthy 8 and 10 year olds, the front facing time doesn’t seem to have damaged them at all.
I wore my babies facing in until they were old enough to wear facing out – good head/neck control and trying to look around when facing in. And it depended on what I was doing too. If I was bending over at all (like vacuuming or something) always facing in so I could support the head with my hand.
Front facing a baby forward basically requires them to be dangling from their crotch. Not good. Besides, it isn’t good for your back. I don’t have any concern about the bonding, though.
Great article Steph, glad to know I am not scarring my leetles with a front facing out carry(apparently I carry the ‘right way’)…they will have to find something else to discuss with their therapist. I’m sure there will be PLENTY! (Like the fact I’m getting my toddler to reply to me with “Yes Mommy Dearest”. Are any of you old enough to get the dark humor there? It is how I get through the rough days.)
just one minor note of clarification — it appears the article this linked to said it could ‘scare’ the baby, not ‘scar’. Still along the same line of thinking, but maybe not quite as dramatic as people have taken it.
@Heather Novak – I am doubled over with laughter. When my babies cry I start saying, “no more wire hangers!” LOL
The notion that children suffer emotionally from being faced away from their caregiver is so ludicrous that I just can’t even imagine why you would even repeat it. Also: if a baby is uncomfortable, they do tend to let you know. This is a stupid non-issue.
When I was a baby I insisted on being carried facing out (in arms, this was before mainstream baby wearing) and emotionally I’m way more stable than most people. Probably comes from having my needs met as a baby!
My four month old loves facing out too, but even in the ergonomically appropriate Beco Gemini, I think a back-to-tummy front carry is uncomfortable for me. The easy solution is a hip carry– I use a pouch sling most of the time. She faces forward, but if she gets over stimulated she can turn her head into me and take a nap. It’s basically the same position as when you carry a baby on your hip normally, but the sling distributes the weight over your back much better, gives the baby extra support, and lets you be hands free if you want to.
So try a hip carry if you have a baby who wants to see the world
I think using a front facing stroller (which by the way is most of them, unless you want to spend $500+, which I don’t have) is scarier for me than it is for my son! I’m always stopping to check on him. That being said, I use a sling or SSC more often than not, only facing out around the house or other very familiar surroundings (with the SSC.. I carry him on the hip with the sling).
This theory totally reminds me of the Maggie Gyllenhaal stroller scene from “Away We Go” – just sayin’.
I wore my daughter front-facing in a Bjorn, and she’s now a quite agile and athletic 9 year old (with no adverse emotional issues.) Perhaps the pelvic damage and abandonment fall-out have yet to reveal themselves?
@ Lee… thank you! I was thinking the same thing but wasn’t sure if I had the balls to say it.
My baby hates to be carried facing me. She has fought it since the day she was born (she is 11 months now).
So, does that mean she hates me? /sarc
I am a avid baby wearer…I do/did with both of my two children and encourage them mom’s I work with to also. I love it, they love it! My daughter preferred to face out in the “peanut sling” when she was about 8mths old on, as she could see everything and has always been a very observant child, then when she wanted to “snuggle” and go to sleep I would just move her to turn towards me (back out) and she would promptly fall asleep. I think it is about reading your kids needs. If they are overstimulated, as a mom or caregiver “wearing them” you should be in tune with them and reading their verbal and non verbal signs that they have had too much. Baby wearing happens all over the world and is a wonderful way to be a mom and carry on with your daily activities. I also found it was like a safe haven for my babies when we were out. It is all about giving them what they need when they are that young……that could be different for any kid.