Banned Baby Names: Mafia No Fear, 5th and V8Monica Bielanko
Here we go again.
As if our daily encounters in the comments sections of the internet aren’t enough to convince us that people are strange, the government of New Zealand goes and releases an updated list of banned baby names.
Oh, people. What are you thinking?
According to the New York Daily News, people pretty much aren’t thinking at all.
No, you may not name your child “Mafia No Fear.”
V8 is also a no go. So are punctuation marks and symbols. If we have to tell you then you probably shouldn’t be having kids. But okay, we’ll break it down for you. Click onward to see the names that parents in New Zealand have tried to name their babies and have since become against the law.
Lucifer 1 of 12
According to CNN, six sets of parents have tried to legally name their child "Lucifer" during the past 12 years. "Lucifer! Get up! It's time for church!"
Anal 2 of 12
Fortunately, according to the New Zealand's Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages, only one set of parents have tried to name their beloved baby "Anal." Still. That's one too many. "Anal just went poopy in the potty!"
Justice 3 of 12
"Justice" is the most popular banned name, having been rejected 62 times since 2001. Two sets of parents tried their luck with "Justus" and one with "Juztice," but those were also shot down. "You're grounded for two weeks, Justice! I don't care if you don't think that's fair. Life isn't fair and it's best you learn that now!"
V8 4 of 12
V8 is another one that has only come up once, thank god. "I shoulda had a V8. Oh wait. I did."
No Royalty! 5 of 12
The agency does not allow names resembling an official title or rank. Knight and Lady are also off limits. Since 2001 31 people have tried to name their kid King. Princess has come up 28 times. 25 people have wanted to name their baby Prince. Royal = 25. Is it just me or do a lot of these names seem like great names for dogs? Or Jacksons...
No symbols! 6 of 12
No, we're not talking about the name Star, we're talking about the symbol. Oh, and in case it was on your list the symbol for a period "." is also off limits and don't even start with the Roman numerals because you will be shot down!
Your Kid’s Great and all but not THAT great 7 of 12
"Christ! I am so tired of you fighting with your sister." Wait. I say that sentence a lot in our house.
Brackets Are Out 8 of 12
Apparently there was a run on folks trying to use brackets around middle names so they had to ban that too. I wonder how these people planned to use their kids' full names when mad. Do you actually say the brackets? "Barack Bracket Hussein Bracket Obama! Have you been coloring on the walls again?!"
Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii? No, no and NO 9 of 12
Apparently a 9-year-old New Zealand girl named "Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii" was made a ward of the court a couple years ago so that her name could be changed. I don't know. It's kinda catchy, no?
5th 10 of 12
Another no go here. "3rd" is also against the law but I didn't see any mention of 4th. You're welcome!
Mafia No Fear 11 of 12
Yes, I know. It's such a beautiful name. I don't understand it either. But alas, the government says no. "Mafia No Fear, get back here young man! You better be afraid! You are in big trouble."
Good news! 12 of 12
I've been telling you what you can't name your kid in New Zealand but I have good news! Above are some names that, inexplicably, the government approved! Number 16 Bus Shelter has a nice ring, yes? Violence is pretty close to my daughter Violet's name. Oh and hey! Call your daughter Midnight Chardonnay and she won't even have to have a stage name when she starts stripping, which she obviously will with you as a parent. Good luck with all that!
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