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Behold the Weird: Bloggers Share Their Search Terms

As a blogger you know firsthand that the internet is full of weirdos. If you ever once had your doubts, a peek at your site’s referring search terms will confirm it.

I find my blog’s search terms to be as fascinating as they are disturbing, and like an episode of Jersey Shore, I simply cannot look away.

My Top Cringe-Worthy Search Terms

• “Mom %$#@ my friend” Yikes. Poor you and get off my site.

• “Dirty mommy cartoons” Hmm, my husband should put that on his resume. Get off my site.

• “Teenage girl wants mommy’s friend” - Disturbing and illegal. Get off my site.

• “My secret sexy sexy sexy toys” One “sexy” was enough. Get off my site.

• “My mom’s friends are hot” Thanks for the 411. Get off my site.

• “Group sex success stories” – Good luck with that. Get off my site.

My Top Giggle-Worthy Search Terms

• “Afraid of baby’s floppy necks” – Me too!

• “Lori Garcia is only funny sometimes” – Agreed.

• “Mommyfriend has secret children” – OMG for reals?

• “Pink bitch wagon with sparkles” – I don’t know what that is but I think I want one.

• “I have 4 nipples” – Geez, you don’t have to brag.

• “My mother-in-law practices witchcraft on me” – OK, now I’m interested.

I asked Babble readers for their most hilarious/disturbing/interesting search terms and the replies were wicked awesome. Check ‘em out!

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  • I don’t recall writing about those… 1 of 17
    I don't recall writing about those...
    "ho girl"
    "mom sexy"
    "people without earlobes"
    @efloraross via Twitter The Writer Revived
    [Photo credit: Shutterstock]
  • Umm kay 2 of 17
    Umm kay
    "naked grandpas"
    @TinyBlueLines via Twitter Tiny Blue Lines
    [Photo credit: Shutterstock]
  • Why? 3 of 17
    Why?
    "Kate Gosselin Feet"
    @Momdeplume via Twitter Mom de plume
    [Photo credit: Shutterstock]
  • Lots of scary 4 of 17
    Lots of scary
    "Dead Vagina Walking"
    "Would anyone know if I hid in Marshall's and shopped at night?"
    "f*ck. I'm a parent what the hell do I do now"
    "I know I was Abraham Lincoln in a past life, but nobody believes me."
    via Jill Scary Mommy
    [Photo credit: Shutterstock]
  • Of course 5 of 17
    Of course
    "Toddler swallowed tweezers"
    "pantyhose encased camel toe"
    "farting moms"
    @TheBeardedIris via Twitter The Bearded Iris
    [Photo credit: Shutterstock]
  • What the what? 6 of 17
    What the what?
    "My Husband Is A Feminist"
    "Take that, feminism"
    "girl scout cookies fund abortion"
    "tap ninja unicorn"
    "blue tongue disease giraffe"
    @TheMamaFesto via Twitter The Mamafesto
    [Photo credit: Shutterstock]
  • T & A 7 of 17
    T & A
    "Boobs at the Superbowl"
    "Little a**hole"
    via Danielle DanielleElwood.com
    [Photo credit: Shutterstock]
  • Grrreat, now I have a visual… 8 of 17
    Grrreat, now I have a visual...
    "Men who clean while wearing panties"
    via Manic Motherhood
    [Photo credit: Shutterstock]
  • And there you have it 9 of 17
    And there you have it
    "Fat girls thighs"
    @heirtoblair via Twitter The Heir to Blair
    [Photo credit: Shutterstock]
  • Yep 10 of 17
    Yep
    "prettiest hermaphrodite"
    @expletivebaby via Twitter Dear #$&!% Baby
    [Photo credit: Shutterstock]
  • Really? 11 of 17
    Really?
    "naked phineas and ferb"
    "barbed wire toilet seat"
    @thatnolenchick via Twitter That Nolen Chick
    [Photo credit: Shutterstock]
  • Um, what? 12 of 17
    Um, what?
    "Weirdest search was my name and 'dead'. Not cool!"
    @jordanbateman via Twitter Jordan Bateman
    [Photo credit: Shutterstock]
  • Naturally 13 of 17
    Naturally
    "farting during anesthetic"
    @MultitaskMumma via Twitter Multitasking Mumma
    [Photo credit: Shutterstock]
  • Alrighty then 14 of 17
    Alrighty then
    "is my face fat or swollen"
    "i think unibrows are hot""
    via Really, What Were We Thinking?
    [Photo credit: Shutterstock]
  • How should I know? 15 of 17
    How should I know?
    "what will I look like bald"
    "girl peeing"
    "geek sex"
    via Molly Digital Mom Blog
    [Photo credit: Shutterstock]
  • Wait! You misunderstood! 16 of 17
    Wait! You misunderstood!
    "Once upon a time, I used the tag 'I am anal' meaning, of course, particular. So, I get tons of anal searches. Wait...that came out wrong. So wrong."
    via Nichole In These Small Moments
    [Photo credit: Shutterstock]
  • What a ham 17 of 17
    What a ham
    "Ham costume"
    @MamatogaJenny via Twitter Mamatoga
    [Photo credit: Shutterstock]

Your turn! Share your weirdest search terms in the comments below!

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