A few weeks ago, Heidi Withers made headlines when a vicious e-mail from her future mother-in-law went viral. The email chastised Heidi for her poor manners as a houseguest, her choice of wedding venue and the way she manages her diabetes.
It’s a doozy of a missive. The kind of letter no one wants to be on the receiving end of. Presumably it’s also the kind of letter one wishes had been kept in the family.
Instead, it made international press when Heidi forwarded it to a few friends, one of whom forwarded it to some more people, who passed it around and then…BOOM! A viral post was born.
Ms. Withers has kept mum about the email, though other family members have spoken to the press. Now she’s given an interview, and she answers everyone’s most pressing questions: Is the wedding still on? And will her husband’s stepmother be invited?
Yes, and no.
In the interview, Heidi and her fiancee Freddie talk about their plans. They’re going ahead with their wedding, they say, and they’re in complete agreement that his stepmother, Carolyn Bourne, will not be invited. They do intend to invite Freddie’s dad, but don’t know if he’ll come without his wife.
Here’s what they had to say about not inviting her:
“When we received Carolyn’s email on May 10, we agreed strongly she would not be invited,” says Heidi. “Anybody who holds such strong views has no place at our wedding,” adds Freddie. “It is not a day for moral compromise.”
While it’s hard to argue with their logic, I’d like to offer a counterpoint. Your wedding is a chance to begin as you would continue in your married life. If you want this schism to blow over so that someday you can have family reunions without rancor, now is the time to kiss and make up. Excluding this woman from your wedding, no matter how much of a brat she was in her email, only deepens the conflict.
Heidi and Freddie can certainly invite who they like to their wedding. This just might be the moment for them to take the high road and show Mrs. Bourne what a class act Heidi really is, instead of playing tit-for-tat.
What do you think? Should Heidi invite her mean mother-in-law to her wedding?