If you loathe your mother-in-law you may want to ponder on that a while longer and really think about why you do. Does she remind you of yourself? Because chances are, you are just like her. Okay, maybe not just like her, but you’re more like her than you might think. What’s that you say? You’re nothing like your
monster mother-in-law? Well, according to the study referenced by Your Tango there’s a possibility that you are. The study found that “men are more likely to marry women who resemble their moms.” They’re talking about physical appearance by the way. I’ll wait a moment while you take a look in the mirror or go take a look at a photo of your in-law and do a little comparing.
Ok, let’s continue. Ever had your husband call you “mom” because you were nagging or trying to tell him what to do? Suddenly hearing the word mom has taken on a whole new, weirder meaning. Most men will tell you they don’t need you to be their mother. Typically, they want you to be their partner — their partner who happens to cook, clean, and do their laundry just like their mom did but nevertheless, their partner. Now me, I happened to luck out in this department. I married a man who is ok with cooking, cleaning, and even doing his own laundry. Of course that doesn’t mean he will rush to my side and say, “Honey put the mop down and go put your feet up, you’ve had a hard day,” but he will help me take care of various tasks around the house.
My husband has yet to taste something I have prepared and say, “This is so good,” the way he does every time we eat dinner at his mom’s house, but cooking was never my claim to fame anyway. And while I would love for him to love the meals I prepare too, I can’t get mad (ok may I can get a little mad) that he loves the food he has eaten for most of his life more. To be honest it’s not like I’ve made much of an effort to step up my cooking game (take-out anyone?); although this year I will try some new recipes! So basically, I am saying that to him, looking from the outside I’m probably not much like his mother at all except for the fact that I might look like her?!
The author of the article does note that the study came out of Finland, which can put some of us at ease knowing that perhaps Finland isn’t as diverse as the United States. Here it is not common to have various cultures come together to form a family, a person even. But a part of me does wonder if deep down us wives remind our husbands of the very first woman they ever truly loved, the woman who in many cases helped mold them into the men we fell in love with and subsequently married.
My mother-in-law is a beautiful woman; she has a loving kind heart. Although she is easy on the eyes, if there is something about her that I mirror (and that caused my husband to decide to marry me) I’d hope it was her heart. I already know it can’t be the cooking and I don’t know what I would do if my husband ever said it was because I had her eyes or her smile.
Read more about the study on Your Tango and when you’re done ask your husband if he thinks you look like his mom! I’ll be honest; I don’t think we look alike but next time we go over for a visit I just might look at her for a little longer while eating that lovely meal that I didn’t prepare of course.
Read more from Krishann on her personal blog His Mrs. Her Mr. Krishann is also a contributor for The Conversation and The Conscious Perspective. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.
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