She’s made us laugh with her books and blogs about drinking her way through motherhood, but the hilarity got pretty sobering this week for Stefanie Wilder-Taylor.
In a moving contribution to her regular “Make Mine a Double, Tales of Twins and Tequila,” column at Mommy Track’d, Wilder-Taylor shared the sad truth with the world: she’s an alcoholic.
Major revelations in the blogging world have gotten to the point where they fail to shock. But this is a blogger who makes her living off of alcohol, and not just her column. She’s the author of Sippy Cups are Not for Chardonnay and Naptime is the New Happy Hour. She lives her liquor .
Some would say there’s no surprise then that her bottle days are boozy.
As Wilder-Taylor says herself, “The most difficult thing that stands in my way is my ego. “Hey, I’m the Sippy Cups are Not for Chardonnay” mom! I’m cool, edgy and those are synonymous with drinking right?”
Let me just say I feel for Wilder-Taylor, applaud her honesty and wish her the very best as she struggles to keep a hold on both sobriety and motherhood. Alcohol abuse is no laughing matter, and I know from alcoholics.
But I always worry when I see a self-confessed partier come out of the cocktail closet and announce, “oops, it’s done me in.” Suddenly, the fingers start a’ pointin’ to the other pieces of their lifestyle that forced this insidious disease upon them. With a lawyer, it’s the long hours. With an actress, the stress of fitting in in Hollywood.
And so, for a mom blogger, what will it be? Will they begin blaming parenthood? Or worse, will that group who so often climbs on their high horse regarding parenting and alcohol use this as ammunition for their itchy trigger fingers?
If I sound paranoid, excuse me. Because I’ve written, rarely, about alcohol here on Strollerderby. Small mentions, nothing major, and yet I’ve found there’s always someone who will have to point out that alcohol and parenting just should not mix . . . shame, shame, shame (and no, I’m not an alcoholic – the last drink I had was at least a week ago, one measly beer).
So I wasn’t surprised when I found the second comment on a post about Wilder-Taylor over at the New York Times’ the Motherlode criticized Wilder-Taylor for being “too into her kids,” and, yup, blaming that for her alcoholic tendencies. Then came the comments that Wilder-Taylor is indeed a “bad parent,” despite her (very brave) decision to STOP drinking. Keep going – there are more, if you can stomach them.
On second thought, don’t bother. Because although studies have shown a rising trend of stay-at-home mothers have a problem with alcoholism, I’d like to present exhibit A – Tipsy granny. Who drank a shot of Jack Daniels every morning while her kids ate breakfast. Only in 1954, they didn’t call it alcoholism. Or how about exhibit B – the working woman with no children who drinks herself into oblivion every night? Should we move on to exhibit C, the mother who says “I need a drink” seventeen times a day to her kids and actually imbibes an average of one beer a week?
Motherhood doesn’t make you drink too much. And drinking at all doesn’t make you a bad parent. It all comes in doses – like everything else in life.
So we say good luck to Wilder-Taylor, and to the rest of you, find your dose.