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Child Faces Every Human Being's Worst Fear

carolyncastiglia carolyncastiglia |

snake in toilet, boa constrictor, girl finds snake in toilet

I have had it with these mother freaking snakes in this mother freaking toilet!

What’s your worst fear?  You may think it’s being forced to live inside Bachelor Brad Womack’s mind for a day or having to eat Jello shots off of The Situation’s gel-covered spikes, but it’s not.  Your worst fear is everyone’s worst fear.  It’s the universal fear everyone around the world experiences from about age 3 or 4 on.  Your worst fear is having to walk through a pit of snakes, or having to face a snake, or most specifically opening the toilet lid to find a snake.

Right?

Now one little girl in Germany has had her worst fear come to life.

A 7-year-old German mädchen started screaming for her mutter when she saw a seven-foot-long boa constrictor coming up through her toilet.  (One foot of hiss for every year of that poor child’s life!)  Wildlife experts tried to capture the snake, but he slithered away down the pipes again.

I swear to God, if that happened to me, I would never sleep again.  And I’d be peeing and pooping in a diaper for the rest of my life.  Uh. Muh. Guh.

A possible explanation for a snake in your pipes?  “People buy these snakes when they are young and they grow very large very quickly and scare the life out of their owners who try to flush them down the lavatory or release them into the drains,” The Daily What reports.  Here’s a tip, pet owners: DON’T FLUSH YOUR SNAKE.  Better yet, how about just leaving snakes out in the wild, where they belong?

Would you allow your child to have a pet snake?

About the Author

carolyncastiglia
carolyncastiglia

Carolyn Castiglia is a New York-based comedian/writer wowing audiences with her stand-up and freestyle rap. You may recognize her hip-hop alter ego Miss CKC from Comedy Central, VH1 and MTV2. Carolyn’s web vids have been nominated for an ECNY Award and featured in two issues of EW magazine. She’s appeared in TONY, The NY Post, The Idiot’s Guide to Jokes and Life & Style. You can find Carolyn’s writing elsewhere online at MarieClaire.com and The Huffington Post.

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0 thoughts on “Child Faces Every Human Being's Worst Fear

  1. Jessie says:

    Oh, my goodness! This was a real fear of mine as a child. Can’t tell you how many times I checked the toilet before I sat down! Bless that little girl’s heart…I hope she doesn’t have recurring dreams of snakes in her toilet! Glad it turned out alright!

  2. Kate says:

    I still worry about rats coming up!

  3. sarah says:

    Ha. I had a pet snake as a kid. Is it really that different than any other kind of pet?

  4. Anon says:

    Sorry. That is just not a fear anyone in my family has. I am starting to think that some moms basically push their own phobias (snakes, spiders, bugs, dogs) onto their kids. Not a very nice legacy. Why make your child live with unnecessary and irrational fear?

  5. anonymom says:

    I heard a story on This American Life about a man finding a rat in his toilet. Ever since I cannot go to the bathroom in the night without turning on the light and doing a full inspection. I know the chances are so slim… but I just can’t get past it!

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