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Compelling Video Evidence of My Parental Ineptitude

By John Cave Osborne |

My boys are whiz kids. But it was my fault.

As many of you already know, I went from carefree bachelor to the father of four within 13 months thanks to marrying a single mom then quickly conceiving triplets. When it came to parenting, I was baptized by fire. Which, of course, means that there were plenty of times when I got burned — mostly by errors born of my inexperience. Luckily, most of those errors were relatively benign ones.

Still, no one likes to make mistakes. And the last thing I want is for my kids to look back upon their childhood and remember me as an inept dad. That’s why I’ve always tried to approach fatherhood with humility and a sense of humor. Because with those two things, I’m hopeful my kids won’t ever recall me as inept. But rather as a guy who did his best to learn from his mistakes, and, when applicable, as a guy who did his best to laugh at them as well.

The good news is that my approach has yielded plenty of laughter. The bad news, however, is that much of that laughter has been as a result of one of my parental blunders.

And in an effort to learn from and laugh at such blunders, I’ve occasionally turned to the video camera. Which is what I did about a year ago, only the clip below was actually shot with my cell phone. It’s a little minute-and-a-half bit I like to call Whiz Kids.

Quick note: in it, I refer to my wife as “Lovie,” and my 9-year-old as “Pookie.” The clip details a little mishap that occurred one time when I was left alone in charge of the triplets. Only two of our trio are in the clip — my boys, “A” and “B.”

Oh. And for the record? This particular mistake hasn’t happened since. (Though now, it’s no longer an issue.)

Do you have any parenting mistakes that you hope your child forgets? Or are you like me in that you make so many, you can only hope to learn (and laugh) from them?

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About John Cave Osborne


John Cave Osborne

John Cave Osborne is a writer whose work has appeared on such sites as Babble, TLC, YahooShine, and the Huffington Post. John went from carefree bachelor to father of four in just 13 months after marrying a single mom, then quickly conceived triplets. Since then, they have added one more to the mix, a little boy they named Grand Finale. Read bio and latest posts → Read John's latest posts →

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0 thoughts on “Compelling Video Evidence of My Parental Ineptitude

  1. Cindy says:

    Oh, John – you are not alone in your parental blunder. I, too, have made this particular mistake. What is worse, the girls nap in my bed in the afternoons. Yuck!

    I’ve also gone out for long stretches of time without the diaper bag. Yeah, carseats soaked in urine is not fun, not to mention the kids crying because they are wet.

    Just last week we went for a quick stop in at my MIL’s house w/o pullups. One child pooped. I scooped it out and put a paper towel in there to keep my poor baby A’s butt away from the remaining offending matter.

    I think I’ve learned my lesson now, though.

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