Cops, Glazed Munchkins, and Breastmilk… Oh My!
Danielle
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Is Breastfeeding a crime?
Here we go again! This week a New Jersey mother enjoying donuts, and coffee with a friend and their children had the police called on them for breastfeeding in public.
While there are several conflicting reports of the story, the mother involved shared her tale on the popular website for mothers Cafemom, a story which has since been removed.
In the post one of the two mothers involved in the newest breastfeeding controversy stated :
It finally happened. A friend and I were just told not to breastfeed in Dunkin Donuts because there are “other people there”. I was going to leave and just write a letter to Dunkin Donuts headquarters suggesting that they educate their employees better. The police were called, though.
This mother also included that after they were told to leave because of breastfeeding in the coffee shop, they started to clean up the table they were sitting at and make their way out peacefully. Unfortunately not before the police confronted them and reportedly told them to “Shut up” in front of their young children.
Dunkin Donuts has posted this statement on their facebook page in regards to the incident :
We have looked into the matter concerning 2 moms at a DD store in NJ & have confirmed an employee was responding to another customer’s complaint that wasn’t related to breastfeeding. None of the DD employees challenged the guests about breastfeeding & all DDs must comply w/ local, state & federal laws w/ regard to nursing mothers. Our top priority is always to provide an excellent experience for our guests
The more publicity this story gets, the more accounts of events change. But not the accounts of the two mothers involved.
Some say one of the mothers changed a cloth diaper on the table of the establishment, as Sarah one of the women involved says she used her lap to change her small child because of the lack of proper changing table in the rest room of the coffee shop. But does any of this warrant a call to the police? Or are the employees who broke New Jersey state law trying to cover their own butts now that this has made national news?
As many other states in the U.S. New Jersey has a breastfeeding law on the books to help prevent mothers from incidents of this nature :
N.J. Rev. Stat. § 26:4B-4/5 (1997) entitles a mother to breastfeed her baby in any location of a place of public accommodation, resort or amusement wherein the mother is otherwise permitted. Failure to comply with the law may result in a fine.
While the families involved, and authorities in New Jersey sort this all out the Dunkin Donuts facebook page is booming with boycott and disgust from mothers.
Brooke Foster Smith said :
Hey DD ~ maybe you should brush up on some laws because FYI breastfeeding in public is NOT against the law and you CANNOT tell a mother that she cannot do it. Infants need to eat just like everyone else and they have the legal right to eat in public just like everyone else does.
And Beth Mitchell Huntsberry said :
No more Dunkin’ Donuts for this family. Can’t believe in 2010 we still have people dumb enough to call the police because a women dared feed her child in public.
Will you be sticking to your Dunkin Donuts consumption after this incident in New Jersey?
Photo : flickr.com/diluvi
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IF they were changing diapers in the eating part of a restaurant, I am sure there were more than a few health code violations borken. Police-worthy? Probably not. But maybe the customer who called has seen one too many poopy diapers w- or worse- smelled them when he or she has been eating.
Not enough to know whether this was actually ABOUT breastfeeding, poopy diapers or trashy talking even though.
Do not really like DD so now I won’t even give them a another chance.
I think there is really way too many holes and misinformation and changed stories on this whole thing to make an educated and correct statement on the whole thing. Who knows what really happened, none of us were there. So I’m not banning DD (don’t go there often anyways) over this because to be honest, I’m not even sure what “this” is.
No stories have been changed – from my point of view. Sarah is my friend, and she has yet to change her story to me or publicly for that matter.
She actually didn’t want much attention brought on to her about any of this, as she’s going through a lot personally from something else anyway. I’m the one (or one of them I’m sure) who sent it to twitter in the hopes of mass amounts of letters to the local store/police department.
She doesn’t want a boycott, and from the beginning it was NEVER about the diaper change. Which I find incredibly funny that they wouldn’t even release the video.
The cops had a complete power trip over two mothers, one of which is deaf (Sarah). Yet they were yelling at them and berating them. When Natalie (her friend) tried to tell them to talk to Sarah so she could read their lips, she was told to shut up. Nothing was mentioned about a diaper change (which, if they’d release the video… the diaper change happened while the cops were there.)
The DD employee was the one who called, not a costumer. All they were ever yelled at for was for the breastfeeding.
When they told the cops they were protected by state law, the gentleman (if I can even call him that) replied sarcastically by saying “Oh, so you’re a lawyer now too huh?”
Was I there? No. But I do love my friend, and I trust what she has told me.
I get angry by the ignorant asses (not referring to anyone on this page) who have said that she’s just some high and mighty breastfeeding mother who think she’s entitled so pop her breast out in public and no body be offended.
If anybody really knew Sarah, you’d know her to be the most gentle, soft spoken woman. Someone who even if she WAS ENTITLED (like by state law or something) wouldn’t impose anything on anybody.
She’s a very discreet breastfeeding mother because she does understand that it can make others uncomfortable.
It’s a shame that the employee had to stand behind two power tripping cops, instead of talking to Sarah herself like an adult.
It’s a shame that Sarah was made to feel the way she does now because of this incidence.
It’s a shame that the employee has now gone on to LIE to corporate and say it was because of a diaper change.
Which on that count, the video would show that the diaper wasn’t dirty at all, and she changed him on her lap – not the table.
For those who cloth diaper, you put the used ones in a “wet bag”. Sarah found the diaper not dirty at all, and put it back under the stroller. Her thought is that baby was uncomfortable from a pinch or something by the elastic.
*commented via my iphone. please ignore misspellings.
It’s amazing that stories like these are even disputed, when breastfeeding is protected by law almost everywhere.
As for the diaper change… honestly, I might not change a poopy diaper *on* a table (at least not without a changing pad) but if the establishment doesn’t provide a diaper changing table in the restroom, what am I supposed to do? I’m constantly shocked at places that don’t have a changing station (even ones that seem like they’d be geared at young kids and families as clientele).
I doubt the BF was the primary issue here. Changing a diaper on the dining floor (even if it IS only a DD) is simply disgusting. As for the’at least wet, why change it at all? Contrary to popular belief, the world does not revolve around infants and their needs. The establishment was entirely within their rights to ask anyone to leave if they’re so uncouth as to change their kids diaper in full view of any random stranger in the restaurant. BFing, again, I doubt is the real reason for the uproar.
OK Editing one awkward sentence: As for the “clean diaper” comment, if it wasn’t at least wet, why change it at all?
@Caroline – You would think an establishment that would be so concerned with where an infant would be changed would actually provide a changing table in their rest room to avoid a situation of this nature.
If Dunkin Donuts is not hiding anything they wouldn’t be afraid to release the video.
Another example of what happens when some mothers (not these two) take it too far and insist on breastfeeding in a way that does make others uncomfortable. These women weren’t doing that but people have become so accustomed the obnoxious nature of the extreme lactivists that they are now tainting us all with the same brush and feeling the need to protect themselves with police officers before approaching us.
As for the diaper change, relevant or not, if I can’t change my child where I am I go somewhere else. I don’t do it on my lap, on the floor or on a table. My child deserves more privacy than that.
@Jennifer – I think that any mother today who is breastfeeding in public, whether covered, or uncovered today, and has someone say something to them, or is asked to leave an establishment and speaks out about it is automatically labeled a “radical lactivist” just for standing up for their legal rights and it is sad.
It is sad that we need these laws to begin with just to feel babies!
Again, I doubt this whole thing was ever about BFing. Changing a baby’s diaper in full public view (again why change a “clean” diaper at all?) is unnecessary. It is NOT the responsibility of Starbucks (an establishment NOT targeting the market for children) has no obligation to provide changing tables. It’s not Chuck E. Cheese. It could be construed as a health hazard. If you wouldn’t feed your baby in a restaurant bathroom, please don’t use the dining area as a toilet.
@Caroline Actually Starbucks does provide changing tables (at least the ones I’ve been to), which tells me a lot about how smart they are in how they run their business (yes, even mom’s with baby are allowed to come in and enjoy a cup of joe). Do you realize how judgmental you are being with your comment? How do you “doubt” this was about BFing… were you there? Do you know the moms (or perhaps the DD employee — maybe you ARE the employee?). You have no credibility here. I don’t know the full details, but as a mom, I can certainly empathize with the situation, and would never dare judge a situation that I never witnessed or wasn’t directly involved with.
She changed the diaper because it was a cloth diaper and the elastic on it was irritating her child. It happened to my son as well when the casing on one of them frayed a little.
Anyway, it’s not like she was changing a giant poopy diaper on the laps of other diners. She had her baby ON HER LAP, not on the table and she switched diapers. Not a big deal, IMO.
@Izzy Well, if Starbuck’s DOES provide changing tables, (and no one said moms weren’t welcome to patronize Starbuck’s) why change the diaper in the dining/drinking area?
@Izzy Well, if Starbuck’s DOES provide changing tables, (and no one said moms weren’t welcome to patronize Starbuck’s) why change the diaper in the dining/drinking area? My opinion (and I DO have a right to one) is that it makes for a better story to claim that BFing was the issue that got these gals ejected. Legally, no one can require a woman to leave an establishment simply for BFing. My credibility? No one who has doubts about this story has credibility? Pffft. And no, I am not a DD employee ANYWHERE, much less 3,000 miles away from my home.
Of course I don’t have doubts. She’s my very dear friend and she texted me immediately after it happened. Sorry you arent in the know, and sorry you have such issues in believing the truth of the matter. The facts have been presented and arguing over them doesn’t change it.
A dd employee has issues with bf’ing and called the cops. Saw the blowback and had changed HER story and lied. The end. I really don’t see the problem here.
You have questions? Why not trace back the story to the actual mothers?? You’ll hear the same thing that I’ve written above.