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Couple Aborts Twin Boys In Quest For Girl

By Sierra Black |

Aussie couple wants a girl badly enough to abort male fetuses.

Aussie couple wants a girl badly enough to abort male fetuses.

An Australian couple recently made a very strange decision to terminate a pregnancy. They have three sons, and lost a baby girl shortly after her birth. They got pregnant again, using IVF. Then, they decided to abort the twin boys they conceived because they “want the opportunity to have the baby daughter they were tragically denied.”

Um.

Sasha Brown-Worsham at The Stir calls this a further tragedy. The couple terminated an otherwise viable pregnancy because they didn’t like the gender of the children they were expecting. I’m too deeply pro-choice to call it a tragedy. Sasha says they’re destroying life in trying to create the life they want, but that’s not quite right. I’ll stand behind a woman’s right to have an abortion for any reason. No one should ever be forced to be pregnant.

That said, I do find this couple’s actions appalling. From my armchair psychologist point-of-view, they’re flailing in grief. They probably shouldn’t be adding any children to their family right now, regardless of gender. Imagine if they do have a “replacement” girl, what life will be like for her? And for her three brothers? Shudder.

The couple are going to court now to try to win the right to use IVF for gender selection. I don’t know much about Australian law, but I’m sure that should not be allowed.

In India, so many couples chose to abort female fetuses that the population skewed heavily towards a male majority and the government had to outlaw the practice. In China, women routinely abort female fetuses, hoping their one child will be a son. What happened to this Australian couple when they lost their daughter was a tragedy, but it’s not one that can be undone with science.

A new baby won’t heal their grief. When they’ve gotten a handle on that, they should of course have the right to have another child, or as many children as they wish. The courts shouldn’t bend the law in favor of this one sob story though. Using IVF to hand-pick a child’s sex is a slippery, dangerous road.

Perhaps I’m being old-fashioned, and designer babies really are the wave of the future. But I worry that choosing your child’s sex before you conceive will only more deeply entrench gender roles and make sexism that much harder to fight. I’m glad Australia doesn’t allow it, and I hope that doesn’t change.

Photo: jinterwas

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About Sierra Black

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Sierra Black

Sierra Black lives, writes and raises her kids in the Boston area. She loves irreverence, hates housework and wants to be a writer and mom when she grows up. Read bio and latest posts → Read Sierra's latest posts →

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0 thoughts on “Couple Aborts Twin Boys In Quest For Girl

  1. Amanda says:

    This is disgusting. I don’t know how this woman can live with herself.

  2. Mamajoy.ca says:

    Wow. I have three boys. With my last I was really hoping for a girl. I even cried when I learned I was having another boy. That said, the day came when he arrived, and he’s perfect. He’s the sweetest happiest baby and I wouldn’t trade him for all the girls in the world. I am pro choice, but I cannot wrap my head around abortions for gender preference. If I were to find myself pregnant and discovered that I was having yet another boy (I have 3) I’d probably buy stock in Advil, but will rest assured that bouncing baby boy number 4 would be as equally special as any other baby.

  3. Amy says:

    I am so shocked and saddened and disgusted and so much more. I realize that it is her decision, her body etc. . . for those of us TTC, it is heartbreaking. I just hope that she can get things straigtened out in her mind for her kids’ sake.

  4. Linda, the original one says:

    Disgusting. Any ethical dorctor would refuse to perfom any more rounds of IVF for these people.

  5. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Wendy Rawley and Sierra Black. Sierra Black said: As I said in my piece, I hope it's not! RT @strollerderby: Is using IVF to hand-pick a baby's sex thethe future? http://su.pr/1Wp2Gu [...]

  6. Manjari says:

    I have to say I also find this disgusting. People like this who want to control every aspect of reproduction (including the sex of the baby) make it harder for other fertility patients by making procedures like IVF look really, really bad. I also feel bad for their sons who will get the message that boys are not valuable to their parents since they already have three.

  7. Anna says:

    It’s frustrating to hear this when one of my good friends is trying so hard to have a baby. She’s been trying everything under the sun for a few years and hasn’t had much luck. To go in and get IVF done with a 50-50 chance of being a boy, and knowing you only want a girl, that seems selfish to me. Instead of aborting, why not give the child a life with adoption? I also know many people that would adopt a child in a heartbeat. That’s just my opinion.

  8. ALittleShort says:

    What bothers me most about this is you have to think about when she chose to end this pregnancy. Unless they did blood tests to see if both were boys, that means she found out they were boys anywhere between 18 and 26 weeks of the pregnancy. Which means she ended the pregnancy within the 2nd trimester. That is sick. and this couple has some serious health issues (mentally). And like Manjari said, I feel bad for their sons as well, because I think she’s right, it does send the wrong message to them.

  9. April says:

    What a tragedy. It is a tragedy because they murdered those precious baby boys when there are so many infertile people in the world who would give anything to parent those precious baby boys. I am a mother to twin boys myself and they have no idea the beautiful blessing they just got rid of. They are monsters. Sick. There other kids are going to hate them for killing their siblings. This is just sick.

    I have no problem with sex sorting and preferences but if you get the opposite of what you wanted you just need to suck it up and either raise that child or give it up for adoption but abortion is not the answer. That is sick.

  10. It's Not Like a Cat says:

    Just to play devil’s advocate, you say you’d stand behind a woman’s decision to have an abortion for any reason. What if this woman gets pregnant three more times with boys? Then she’d have three more abortions. Would you say you’re pro-choice enough to permit sex selection so that she doesn’t exact this toll on her body? Or would you say that that is her choice (repeated abortions) and that she doesn’t have the right to choose what the sex of the child she is pregnant with but instead she just has the right to repeatedly abort?

    I agree that a woman should have the right to abort at any time for any reason, no matter how late in the pregnancy, but I do agree that this case is a tragedy for the woman’s surviving children.

  11. Marj says:

    I am moderately pro-choice, but this is very very sad. Did they think they wouldn’t love those two little boys? I’m positive they would be wrong about that.

  12. kat says:

    lame, lame, lame. if they want a girl so badly, why not adopt a baby girl from China! It’s obviously all about them and not about the kids. Selfish people suck!

  13. Beth says:

    This is such a sad story. :,( I can’t understand why people will just end a pregnancy because the ultrasound says the baby is the “wrong” gender. Not all ultrasounds are correct. My boyfriend’s mother was told she was having a girl. Her ultrasounds “confirmed” that. Yet, she had a son. Technology isn’t always correct. I shudder to think that what if it was the umbilical cord in the between one or both of the babies legs?!?!

  14. Gloria Sedano-Sarabia says:

    Uhmmmmm… WOW. Why would sons be any better than daughters. YOUR CHILDREN ARE YOUR CHILDREN! You don’t choose them. God gives them to you for a reason.

  15. Melissa says:

    This makes me sick!! Coming from a woman who miscarried my 4 month old fetus in April, this is just horrible! There are people out there who are well deserving and who desire babies boy or girl that cannot have them and you have evil, seflish people like this.. they shouldnt be allowed to do this!

  16. Erika says:

    So the writer states.. ” no one should be forced to be pregnant”. Most people CHOOSE to have sex. When you have sex, you sign up for the possibility of getting pregnant. it makes me sick that so many women and young girls use abortion as their way out of responsibility. If you are not ready to be a mom, don’t have sex.

  17. nancy toran says:

    Shocking and unbelievably horrible. I truly cannot even phathom aborting two babies bc you object to their gender.

  18. Mashala says:

    Erika I totally agree.. and there are millions of women that can not have babies and would love to have a child.. I have lost a child through miscarriage and its the worst thing someone could ever go through so How could someone take their own childs life!! People are sick..

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