Dads Who Ogle (And Moms, Too)sandymaple
Do men like to look at attractive women? Of course they do. And most of us would agree that there is no harm in that. But what about when dad is checking out a woman who isn’t mom right in front of his impressionable young daughter. Just what impression is he giving her?
Mike Adamick wonders about that very thing in a post at Jezebel. A stay-at-home dad, he spends a lot of time in the car with his 4-year-old daughter. During their travels, he says he can’t help but turn his head and stare when he comes across a beautiful woman. But after realizing that his father-in-law never ogles women, he’s questioning the wisdom of carrying on like that in front of his daughter.
Won’t my daughter see that I do it all the time? What do — or did — you think — of your dad gaping at passing women? Did he? Did you notice? Did you think it was creepy? Did you not care?
Based on the comments on that article, the consensus is that if Adamick thinks it’s a problem, it probably is. And I agree. If I had seen my own dad checking out women, I am sure it would have bothered me. But he didn’t. And neither does my husband. But I do. Check out men, that is. And I don’t just look. Sometimes I stay stuff.
Like Adamick, I don’t say anything directly to the beautiful people who catch my eye. But I have been known to appreciate out loud an especially attractive member of the opposite sex. Just last weekend, I noted the fine form of a shirtless man jogging past us in Central Park. I couldn’t help myself. I just said “wow” as he flew by.
But mostly I keep my mouth shut and just look. And I honestly never gave a thought to what my 10-year-old girl might think about it. But I am thinking about it now and wondering the same thing as Adamick. How does that make her feel?
I can tell you how it makes her feel because I just now asked her. She says it makes her feel like I like other guys more than the one I am married to. It’s “weird” and she would rather I didn’t do it. Glad I asked!
A father-daughter relationship is different than one between a mother and daughter. I can see where dad’s ogling might have the potential to create some messy daddy issues down the road. But clearly issues can arise when mom is doing the looking as well.
What do you think about mom and dad ogling other people in front of the kids? Did your parents do it? Do you?
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