Dads Win: New Study Says Dads are Happier Than Moms
Is dad happier than mom?
I don’t want to be all sexist or anything but it could boil down to that by the end of this, I’m not sure yet.
I was perusing my favorite site Jezebel.com when I came across an article that says parenting makes dads happy and moms depressed. Intrigued, I read further.
Apparently married dads are the happiest dudes on the block. Here’s why:
You’ve heard about the studies that say married people are happier/live longer than single people, right? Now there is a study that says parents are happier than non-parents. According to this press release psychologists conclude that “children are associated with more joy than misery”.
Ha. Ha ha. Joy Vs. Misery. It’s a fine, fine line. And tell me that in a few years when I’m not dealing with two toddlers in diapers. But okay, parents are happier than non-parents. I’ll buy that. Being a parent has infused life with greater meaning and inspires me to be a better person yada yada yada. But even though motherhood has given life new meaning, turns out, according to this study, at least, it’s dads who are reaping all the rewards. Jezebel breaks it all down:
It turns out that “parenthood is associated with greater satisfaction and happiness only among fathers,” and married dads at that, which doesn’t surprise anyone, least of all the study’s authors, who said the discrepancy “is not unexpected, as the pleasures associated with parenting may be offset by the surge in responsibility and housework that arrives with motherhood.”
“The surge in responsibility and housework that arrives with motherhood”? I’m not sure about you, but in the case of most parents I know, BOTH couples work. So why is it that the women are experiencing the “surge in responsibility and housework”? And it’s married dads that are happiest because the little lady is doing all the dishes?
Did this study take place in the 1950s? Nope. And here’s where that sexism thing I talked about earlier comes in. I’ve noticed that women who work just as many hours in the day as their fellas end up shouldering more of the housework/parenting load than dads. In some couples I’ve observed that when a guy works full-time he feels his day is done when he gets home because that’s the way it’s always been for dudes. Women, however, have only recently (in the last few decades) started kicking ass in the workplace but, even when they do work full-time seem to somehow end up picking up all the housework slack as well.
For example: I have several women friends who, in addition to working full-time just like their husbands, end up cooking dinner and putting kids to bed and then cycling a couple loads of laundry before dropping into bed next to an already sleeping husband. Is that something you’ve noticed as well? Maybe even in your own marriage? I mean, I’m not trying to be sexist but the study is backing me up here. Motherhood causes moms to become depressed because they’re doing more work.
What do you think? Do you notice women tend to shoulder a majority of the parenting/housework responsibilities even when they work full-time because that has traditionally been their role?
You can also find Monica on her personal blog, The Girl Who.
Read more from Monica on Strollerderby:
Should This Studen’ts Haircut Lead to Suspension?
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” I have several women friends who, in addition to working full-time just like their husbands, end up cooking dinner and putting kids to bed and then cycling a couple loads of laundry before dropping into bed next to an already sleeping husband.”
Yup, that about sums it up.
This seriously couldn’t be any more true, at least in my house and with my circle of friends. Just this weekend my husband and I just recently had a very serious discussion about this same topic.
It’s true in my household and most people I know. And even in one’s where the husband does help out… the wife has to go back and redo whatever he’s done because it’s not done right. Men have a very different view of “clean” than women do.
Are these retroneanderthal dads folding their belts in half when they come home to find dirty dishes? You know, perfectionism is a tried and true way to make yourself miserable. http://www.happinessstrategies.com/blog/category/how-not-to-be-happy-10-tips/ Maybe that’s what women are getting wrong.
It’s definitely true at my house and although my baby brings me incredible joy, it is a bit depressing how difficult my life has become. I get up with the baby at night, get up early with him in the morning, get him ready for the day, feed him breakfast, get myself ready for work, work all day, come home and play with him for a few minutes, get his dinner ready and get him ready for bed. After that I usually try to clean up from baby’s dinner mess, wash a few dishes or tidy up a bit. Some nights I can’t do anything because I have work from my job that I need to complete at home. Despite my efforts to try to clean whenever I have time, we still live in complete clutter and chaos (another factor that contributes to discontent). Since my time with the baby is limited, I have lowered my expectations considerably as I prefer to spend as much time with him as possible. @Bob – I don’t think it is perfectionism to want to wash a few dishes. If it doesn’t get done then you have an even bigger (and possibly smelly) mess the next day.
The fact that I get to spend so very little time with my son is also a bit depressing. I grew up with a stay-at-home mom and I guess I optimistically and naively thought that eventually something would work out that would allow me to stay at home (at least part time) to raise my child as well.
I agree with Bob. My husband’s fantastic around the house, and if he cleans something a little differently than (or even not quite as thoroughly as) I would, I’m just thankful that it’s clean and that I didn’t have to stay up till midnight to do it.
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