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Dear Apple and Moses: Do as I Say, Not as I Tell Others to Do. Love, Mummy Gwyneth

Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow: Like you, only better

We all can’t be lifestyle leaders. And we definitely can’t all be Gwyneth Paltrow. There’s just no one else quite like her. Thank God.

The queen of all things better than you and me hasn’t done so well on the silver screen in years, so she’s taken to our computers, book shelves and PBS specials to make our eyes and ears bleed with her very unique brand of pretension. Sure, you can try, but you’ll just never be thinner, healthier, more yogic or a better mum.

But about the latter, a funny thing happened recently. Queen Gwyneth signed on to endorse SPAR Veggie, which is an Austrian frozen food brand, according to Yahoo Shine. “In terms of food quality, Spar is the equivalent of a convenience store attached to a gas station. You might buy gum there, but you wouldn’t buy Spar-brand gum or Spar-brand anything for that matter,” said a Yahoo source.

So the super woman who Yahoo Shine says once said “‘would rather die’ than let her kids eat a cup-a-soup” is now hawking processed food? You can’t make this stuff up.

Gwyneth is hardly the first celebrity to endorse an international product about which few Americans will ever know. But what makes this one possibly the funniest endorsement is that she won’t even really endorse it (although odds are strong she’s endorsing the checks).

A Gwyneth-approved statement in the press release for her SPAR participation had her explaining “enthusiastically” that SPAR is a “real healthy alternative if you want to quickly serve something.” In the print ad she is seen holding, but not actually eating the product (whatever it actually is).

For a woman who is now apparently all about her kids, I wonder how she sleeps at night telling her kids to do as she says for them and herself, and not as she actually tells others to do. She is “enthusiastically” endorsing a food that she would never eat or serve her kids, but she is nonetheless telling other moms it’s OK to eat and serve to their kids.

In some ways this is actually a refreshing story for anyone who’s ever felt less than Gwyneth Paltrow, which is just about everyone at this point. No one is perfect, no parent can set a perfect example, and Gwyneth acting the part of a hypocrite is likely her most memorable role yet.

Image: Wikipedia

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